Dear Penn Freshmen,

Hey Alex,

The irony is that even if someone had given you advice freshman year, you definitely would not have listened. This is because the freshmen year version of you is a bit of a (as Taki would put it) stupid-idiot-head, and you will go on to make many, many, stupid-idiot-head decisions in college. That's ok. You started out knowing nothing, and you still know nothing. But, you know a little bit more than when you started, and sometimes, that's enough.

When you first get here, you take care of yourself in the same way that Mikaeel takes care of a rental car. You wake up at 8 AM and work straight until 2 AM and repeat. You roll out of bed every day feeling exhausted. You go on 5 mile runs every day but your cardio remains piss-weak. You hate intro level math like you hate the motherfucker who stole your bike seat. You assume that there must exist some thriving black market for bike seats, because if not, why the hell would they do that? You continue this cycle for the next 18 months, slowly grinding your sanity down into omnishambles. In the midst of all this self induced chaos and suffering, a beautiful moment of clarity comes to you. Wow, I should really take more care of myself! Hitting limits is a terrible thing to be doing but a great thing to have done. It gives you the perspective to appreciate things like health, friends, and free time. I wish you would have realized it sooner, but sometimes these things just take time to sink in.

Hitting limits also gives you another juicy tidbit of insight. Oh god. I'm a sheeple after all. Freshman year, everyone is trying to do college the correct way. Go out to parties. Vaguely consider a dual degree. Network for future professional gains. Create cute 4 year life plans on a spreadsheet, waiting for the pretty green and red boxes to roll cleanly off of the screen and manifest into reality. You soon realize that you dislike all of the aforementioned activities, but that you're glad you tried them. Thankfully you, like most people here, soon outgrow this initial cringe phase and develop an actual personality. You spend nights running up and down the Schuylkill, learning to love the way the neon lights of the skyline reflect off the water. You reject finance internships in favor of companies and missions you like, even though they pay you half as much. You discover that the people who will be running Wall Street in the future have no idea what they're doing and can barely do basic math. No wonder the 2008 recession happened. Partying turns out to not nearly be as much fun as sitting on a couch at 3 AM and just talking with people you like. The sooner you figure out what you actually value and stick to it, the better.

It's difficult to write about the people you'll come to know. Words don't quite capture how you feel; stories only give glimpses. The stray cat on a street corner that someone had the kindness to rescue and adopt. The mountain that you were talked out of descending during a rainstorm. The surprise birthday party. The couch of choice for many late night conversations. The rocky cliff that someone stopped you from tripping off of and turning into human ketchup (thanks Yuyang). The innumerable times you laughed so hard that your cheeks hurt. When you look back on the memories, you feel grateful. Grateful that the people around you are smarter than you ever will be. Grateful that they taught you how to be more vulnerable, how to stand your ground when you're right, how to be kinder and more generous. Grateful that I've had the incredible luck to call these people my friends. Don't ever take them for granted. Spend more time with them. Your GPA isn't going to be offering you fever medication when you get sick.

I don't have more to say. Enjoy the great times. Laugh at the bad times. Don't take yourself too seriously. Stay hydrated. Increase your run cadence; your knees will thank me. You'll be ok.

Cheers,

Alex Y

Dear Freshman Samidha,

You won’t be surprised to learn that I am writing this letter to you three days after the submission deadline—clearly, some things never change. Given how much your senior year self preaches life lessons to every freshman she knows, you would think this would be a little easier to write. Turns out, it’s difficult to encapsulate lessons learned from the past four years into an 8.5 x 11 inch piece of paper - but here we go.

We both know you had the best high school senior year and the best high school friends you could’ve ever asked for. In fact, come August, you would have been perfectly content staying home in Pittsburgh with your friends, family, and golden retriever for a couple more months. This will prove to make the transition to college a little tough. You will consider yourself lucky that you came into college with 49 other friends in your program and quickly made it onto the Penn dance team that you always dreamed of joining. But while things might seem perfect on paper, the spontaneous Greyhound trips back to Pittsburgh at the slightest inkling of homesickness imply otherwise. With a packed calendar of social events and Wharton club interviews (that for some reason you care wayyy too much about - please stop taking yourself so seriously), your first semester at Penn will be one of your busiest, as you struggle to balance classes, clubs and friends.

Balance is overrated

I’m here to tell you that balance is an overrated, lofty goal - you’re going to have different priorities at different points in your life and that’s OKAY! The happiest, most alive moments you will experience in the next four years—road tripping across the Northeast, hiking up mountains in Austria, and taking in the best views of Philadelphia from sunny rooftops—are all moments you will be entirely off-balance, completely immersed in the experience. Focus less on dedicating equal proportions of energy and time to each area of your life and focus more on the moments that you will be lucky enough to experience these next four years.

Explore people, places, and conversations

The people you will run into throughout college are some of the smartest, most talented humans you will ever meet. You will spend your days debating the nuances of politics and religion on KC3, brainstorming social impact start-up ideas with your best friend on a white board, and discussing the connection between language and thought on friends’ couches.

Your very first summer at Penn, you will experience being a female solo traveler in a foreign country. It’ll be terrifying and exhilarating and rewarding. But don’t worry; don’t underestimate your abilities to take care of yourself and befriend everyone from strangers to taxi drivers to your translator, all of whom will show you incomparable love and hospitality. Everywhere you travel, don’t be afraid to engage in organic, sometimes difficult, conversations. These will teach you more than you will ever learn inside the classroom.

It’s okay to cry - just don’t forget to pick yourself back up after

Your best friends at Penn and your family back home can attest to the amount of times you will cry these next couple years. Receiving a massive amount of rejection emails, navigating tough classes and friendships and the pandemic, and having your typical quarter life crises might leave you…let’s just say a little teary. Luckily, you’ll have friends who give the best hugs, parents who remind you that every problem has a solution, and a sister that gives the best advice and chuckles incredulously at your tears—really putting things in perspective. They will teach you that the impact you yearn to have can look like a lot of things, one of them being simply being present for the people in your life.

Learn to breathe

Your sophomore spring semester abroad in Lyon will give you more free time than you know what to do with. You’ll start eating a full breakfast in the mornings, sipping wine at cafés with friends, crafting travel itineraries, and writing in a journal (sure, we could say ~abroad changed me~).

In essence, you will start breathing more. While the pandemic will send you back home 2.5 months earlier than planned, you should adopt these new breathing habits into your daily life. You’re notoriously bad at staying still, so quarantine has its challenges of course, but you will experience the joys of cooking meals with family in the spring, leading virtual Zumba classes with your sister every Sunday of the summer, and playing card games with your roommates during your junior fall semester. Come autumn, a semester of virtual classes gives you the time to finally explore Philadelphia. The days you will spend trying takeout from the city’s best restaurants, going to happy hours in Rittenhouse, making s’mores in friends’ backyards, walking to the Philly Art Museum at 4am, planning spontaneous day trips, delivering menstrual hygiene products to shelters impacted by COVID, having Monday movie mimosa nights, and running down the cobblestone streets next to Independence Hall will be some of your best memories with your favorite people at Penn.

Don’t forget to reflect

An in-person senior year will bring back some of the social and academic obligations you experienced during your first two years of college. During the craziness of your fourth and final year and panic over post-graduation plans, remember to make time to reconnect with old friends and introduce yourself to new ones. Make the most of a non-virtual year: volunteer in West Philly through your Education class, spend each day choreographing and dancing with your team in preparation for shows and competitions, attend friends’ a cappella shows, swim around in the Hamco hot tub at 2am, go to Allegros at 3am, go to every formal and date night, and celebrate everything from Diwali to Friendsgiving to St. Paddy’s Day. Most importantly, through the chaos and excitement of it all, don’t forget to reflect on all the ways you will change and grow since your freshman year.

At some point during your four years, Penn and the people here will start feeling like home. Your senior self will think back to being an incoming freshman, having read every single letter on the “Dear Penn Freshmen” website and dreaming of writing your own. You will think back to the excitement on your mom, dad, and sister’s faces when you received your Penn acceptance four years ago. And you’ll anticipate seeing that same excitement when they come to your graduation in a month.

Sami, four years are going to pass by before you know it - LIVE IT UP!

Welcome to the adventure of a lifetime,

Samidha S.

Lance,

I am going to begin by telling you the one thing you most desperately need to hear: I am proud of you.

Few people are as uniquely predisposed as you or I to have the peculiar habit of contemplating what our past or future selves would think of us, and so I begin by telling you what you need to hear from the Lance further down the cosmic timeline. Everything you have ever done, all the things you will ever do, these have made me the person I am today, and I am eternally grateful for that.

Even with all that has changed over the last four years, our curiosity is still boundless, and so it would be a personal betrayal if I were to withhold any honest reflection from you. You would judge me quite harshly if I sacrificed truth for kindness. This sentiment should allay any fears you may have that I’ve become soft in my old age (our humor still depends on inadvertent wit rather than good jokes). Still, this transitory exposition is proof enough that the opinions we most cherish come from the imaginary perception of our past and future selves upon our present conduct. There are so many things I want to tell you in this epochal moment, but I will reserve myself to stating the most important things so that you may flourish where I have failed.

What it means to be Lance Lunceford is an enigma even to our closest friends, who ostensibly have joked over the years that “You can’t describe what it means to be Lance, you just have to experience him.” Our steadfast commitment to our unique persona ensures that we forever take the road less traveled, and it is one of our most beautiful traits. I am this way because I have embraced the peace that comes with genuinely expressing my true self.

Authenticity before Power

However, there is a distinct reason why you, my freshman year self, are so difficult to define. For you do not want anyone to know who you truly are. You speak to each person so as to convey what they want to hear, rather than what you mean to say, reserving only a handful of chosen friends to be trusted with your extreme candor. You think the world is a zero-sum game you have to win because you are so focused on accumulating power for yourself that you neglect to even consider why you want it in the first place.

This is beneath you. Neither of us were meant to live so inauthentically. The unbridled pursuit of power is a deadly vice for us, because while others may pursue status or prestige, power carries real responsibility and tremendous consequences for those we associate with. To make an ode to the scientific definition of the word, it is the rate at which work can be done, a measure of your ability to accomplish all that we intend. Power drives me toward our goal of leaving a profound impact on the human race by building the future. I possess power, whereas power possesses you, binding and conforming you into a version of yourself that isn't who either of us truly want to become.

The great irony here is that the most powerful thing you can do is live authentically no matter the situation you’re presented with. It is a power move in and of itself to be yourself. Constrained by a society that instills conformity, everyone secretly yearns to express themselves and thus people are inspired towards becoming who they could be if they see someone else behaving as they actually are. Saying what needs to be said and articulating the truth no matter the circumstance will foster trust and allow you to master the shadow within you that is tempted by power. When you conquer this vice, it will unlock an awakening of profound meaning as you cultivate deeper relationships and engage in more meaningful work. You will keep your tremendous capability, further enrich your curiosity, and establish a code of honor to orient yourself towards noble aspirations.

Relationships and Beauty

By the end of your time at Penn, you will devote nearly all your energy to further solidifying and creating high quality relationships with the people you intentionally choose to be a part of your life. There’s a certain worldwide pandemic that likely adds to this incentive as it deprived you of a year of in-person learning, but nonetheless your character and the people you associate with will become the most important part of your college experience. These are the perennial elements throughout all your embarrassing failures, revelrous experiences, academic classes, romantic heartaches, successful projects, and campus leadership involvements.

This is an odd twist for you, because we both have an insatiable desire for knowledge that makes us more interested in things than people. However, what you’ll learn is that the two aren’t distinct; every person you will ever meet knows at least one thing you don’t, possesses something you might find interesting, or has a novel experience worth knowing. The willingness to listen and the humility to learn are foreign to you right now, but this profound shift will manifest in you for a predictable reason: we appreciate beauty and truth, as formidable, divine aspects of life. It’s the same concept underpinning our affinity towards music and admiration of the creative process throughout all our pursuits.

You will owe a massive debt of gratitude to the friends here who will teach you so many of the most important lessons life could offer:

From Matteo, you will learn that it is possible to achieve audacious goals with a genuine love for all people and pious devotion to God.

From Derek, you will have learned that it’s difficult to devote your life to the service of others and that fame can be more a burden than a blessing, but nonetheless hard work and passion make this noble life worth living.

Tanya will remind you to peacefully accept the things you cannot change, take courage to change the things that you can, and strive for the wisdom to know the difference.

Patch will have taught you that the most moral, upstanding people don’t demonstrate virtue by what they believe, but by how they act.

From Jessica, you will learn to enjoy the life we have, to not discount common things as beneath us, and to embrace the love you have for all those around you.

Frank and Devin will both remind you to stay true to your own aspirations apart from the world’s expectations, for true success lies in leading an original life on your own terms.

Above all else, these people and so many more teach you the joy of life. Being open to these things is the change that has brought the most wisdom to my life thus far. There is so much beauty in this world if you’re only willing to see it.

Mastering Yourself

Lance, I am the one person who knows your greatest secret: that despite all our high-minded aspirations, our confidence, our amazing friends and inspiring family, despite all of the full experiences we’ve had in this good life, you feel incredibly alone. You’ve always felt alone, apart from the world you exist in. It is something we’d rather not acknowledge, or if we’re being candid with ourselves, we disguise it well under our charisma. We have friends who are here for us, but we choose this loneliness because we enjoy the feeling of being on our own path. There’s wisdom to that, and you should be thankful for this trait because it, combined with our insane level of self-confidence, pushes us to articulate a vision for ourselves beyond conventional imagination.

However, we are not alone, we do not stand apart from the world as some immortal figure who can enjoy eternal solace. We have an urgent responsibility to ourselves, our family, and our posterity to build a world we can all be proud of. I began this letter by stating we are indescribable, but the truth is that the greatest expression of who we are comes from the very thing we do not want to admit to ourselves:

To be Lance is to be human, with all the flaws and potential that come with that truth.

You never knew it, but this fact is what makes life so exciting. This is the reason our achievements are so glorious, and our failures so instructive. If you were all-powerful and all-knowing, you would still lack one thing: limitation. And this, Lance, is the most important part of life, for it is what gives meaning to all the fulfilling things that we do.

I know for you this is disappointing to hear, but as you trade ambition for wisdom, you will gain the peace you so deeply desire. I am not there yet, and we should never become so satisfied with serenity that we forego our chase of a preeminent destiny, but you must face the difficult reality of your own mortality and find meaning in the fact that we are human beings with limits to what we are able to do. This tragic, yet beautiful truth is the source of all rhyme and reason for doing anything meaningful in this life we have. Remember that.

At your best, you represent the human spirit in its highest form: ambition to push beyond what is presently imaginable and persistence to make your vision a reality in this chaotic universe. Finally, take heed of the wise counsel in the last verse of our favorite poem, Max Ehrmann’s Desiderata:

“Whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.”

I look forward to the world that we will build.

Achieve your dreams. Make the history books. Remember to love. And strive for the good. If you do these things, you will lead a life worthy of our name.

With power,

Lance L.

llunceford@comcast.net

Jediah,

Riding the bus back from PennQuest, you’re feeling electrified, imagining the things you’ll learn and do, the people you’ll meet. Apprehensive about the uncertainty of the four years ahead. Ready to grab the world by the horns, but in the back of your mind, a nagging loneliness. Everyone told you that PennQuest was where you’d meet your new best friends – they must be waiting until the last minute to introduce themselves.

The aspirational messaging fails to warn you that college is an adjustment. The semester ahead will have high highs, and even lower lows. The first night of NSO will be your eighteenth birthday. You’ll go to a party, but you won’t feel that you truly have anyone to celebrate with – only a heartfelt text from your best friend will keep you from utter solitude. Later, you’ll be rejected from all three clubs that you interview with. Even as you make friends, you’ll lament the end of the high school style of friendship; when everyone has different classes, unique responsibilities, and their own web of relationships, having a core squad that’s always together will feel like a distant memory. And, desperate for anything resembling genuine connection, you’ll channel your energy into an unhealthy, unrequited crush.

But even during that wretched week, waiting for your last final exam on the very last day, when you watch the sun sink away from your window, lacking the strength to escape from your grief or even the mire of your bed – don’t despair, because things can only get better from here. And very soon they will. Salvation will come, of all places, from a job on campus. There you’ll continue to fall in love with your major, and better yet you’ll finally find a group of friends who you feel at home with, friends who will care for you and uplift you and continue to do so even after you’ve all quit.

I won’t lie – it won’t be all smooth sailing from there. But if you let the energy of the good times fill you up and propel you forward, you can weather any storm. My advice to you: Hold tight to your passions; as you get older and more jaded, your enthusiasm will be worth its weight in gold. Act with intention, and don’t blindly follow the path of others without reflecting on where you want it to take you. Meet people with a diversity of interests. Get a bikeshare membership, leave University City, and pop the Penn bubble. Don’t take rejection too personally; some of your most crushing failures will open the door to your greatest triumphs. And don’t obsess over your grades, because they really don’t matter – but don’t use that as an excuse to neglect your education, because one day you’re going to miss being a student.

Try to understand yourself: what makes you tick, what you want to work on, what you need from your relationships, what you want for yourself. A therapist can help with that. Appreciate the qualities of your best self – your loyalty, thoughtfulness, intelligence, determination, introspection – and soon you will find that others do too. Continue to nurture those relationships and seek out new ones. Don’t reject yourself or be afraid to take the first step. On the flip side, notice the people who are superficial and obsessed with status, people who aren’t interested in you and don’t have your back. You don’t need to engage with them, and you’ll be happier the less that you do; remember that they’re never having as much fun as they pretend to be. And throughout all this, don’t forget to keep up with your best friend and brother, who will always stand with you no matter the distance.

In your junior year, you might find yourself riding high, feeling like everything is finally coming together. You’ll have a constellation of rich, sturdy, and fulfilling friendships to keep you occupied; take classes that captivate you and expand your mind; land your perfect internship; move into a house with amazing roommates, who won’t bat an eye when you want to squeeze one hundred people in for a Groundhog Day party; and after a year of planning and hard work, you’ll even teach your own class at Penn.

You’ll think back to you – right now, riding that bus back from PennQuest – and marvel at how far you’ve come. Enjoy it, but don’t get complacent and resist the urge to take a victory lap. The most fundamental truth is that nothing is for certain; nothing lasts forever. You can’t possibly expect it, but the universe will remind you of that fact with a global pandemic that brings everything crashing down. It will be hard for everyone, but try not to feel too much resentment.

Disillusioned, determined to close the curtain on your own terms, you might decide to take a gap year. You won’t regret it, but it won’t be easy. As you move in for your fifth and final year, you’ll miss your closest friends, who have all graduated. Your birthday will be coming up, and in a nostalgic moment you’ll feel a sudden kinship with that freshman boy who four years ago had no companions on his birthday, and you’ll wonder if you’ve come full circle. But you haven’t – you’ve been energized and humbled and uplifted and let down for four years, all so that you could grow into the person you are now, into me. So you’ll pick up your phone and ask people who you don’t really know to come celebrate – you’re turning twenty-two.

Jediah

Dear First-Year Jaden (circa August 2018),

I understand that you are dealing with a lot of uncertainty in your life right now, especially with Mom and Dad finalizing their divorce earlier this month. I know this summer has been disruptive and emotionally exhausting. I just want you to know that everything will be alright. You will face more events that will challenge you, which will help you grow as a person.

I know you are a practical person who would want an actionable list of advice from your future self, so I am here to deliver! I am going to share some of the lessons that I’ve learned so that you and future Penn students can hopefully benefit from it.

Wellness:

• Intentionally practice healthy, productive habits early in the semester. This will set you on the track to make studying, exercising, meditating and sleeping into a consistent routine.

• Continue keeping a list of specific, measurable goals so you can keep track of how you are doing.

• I recommend that you read the book U Thrive: How To Succeed in College (and Life) by Alan Schlechter and Dan Lerner. It will serve as your compass as you set healthy habits.

• You actually have time to study during the day! Use that time proactively so that you can enjoy your evenings rehearsing for theater productions. I am happy to report that you will sleep better in college than you did in high school!

• Listen to your body! When your body needs rest, then go to sleep or sit down. When your body wants to move, then take a walk or exercise.

• Resist the temptation to ruminate over the decisions you made in the past. All you can control is what is right in front of you.

Relationships:

• Friendships

  • Building close friendships takes time, so be patient! You will sometimes be frustrated by not developing close friends during your first couple years. I promise you will find a couple close friends by the time graduation rolls around.

  • Friendships are about quality, not quantity.

  • Be a compassionate listener who practices active constructive responding. Ask people open-ended questions because you may find out something interesting about them!

• Romantic relationships

  • You will make some mistakes in this department, yet you will learn from those experiences. Trust your gut. If you don’t feel chemistry with someone or the timing is not right, then communicate how you are feeling with them in a sensitive way. Try to take the other person’s perspective.

  • Be willing to put yourself out there! Dating apps can be a good way to meet people whenever you feel ready. Yet, I warn you that dating apps can sometimes feel addictive, so learn to use them in moderation!

  • Try Penn’s Sex Education program. You will learn a lot more about sex, anatomy and healthy communication than you did in high school. Check it out!

Academics:

• Take classes that interest you. Your favorite classes that you will take are the ones that peak your curiosity and emphasize experiential learning. A few things you will learn more about: how people think, how we remember the past with monuments and how we can pursue happiness.

• You do not need to settle on your major so soon. I know you love psychology, yet you don’t need to go all-in right away. Give yourself time to explore classes in subjects you find interesting before you choose to declare your major.

• Be willing to switch out of a class early on if you see it is not a good fit. You will change at least one class in your schedule every semester of college, and that’s not something to be ashamed of. It is a sign of self-awareness. You are investing your time in your classes, so make sure you spend your time wisely!

Extracurriculars:

• First off, the words “slow down” will become one of your mantras. I know you were go-go-go in high school trying to balance school and extracurriculars. This balance in college will be one of the most challenging things that you do. Over time, you will learn to let go of opportunities that no longer feel authentic to you.

• One of the most impactful pieces of advice you will receive in college is that you do not have to be a leader of every club you are part of.

• Be willing to explore new things, yet you also don’t have to do everything. Prioritize what you most enjoy and what feels “right” at this moment. Discard activities that you do not consider essential. You won’t be hurting others’ feelings by leaving. Put yourself first. You will lead clubs, you will leave clubs, and you will even try starting a couple student organizations just for fun!

• Be willing to tell stories in new ways. I know you enjoy performing on-stage and writing plays now, yet those interests will evolve into something new. You will become a podcast host and an opinion columnist at The Daily Pennsylvanian (I know right! That’s wild!). Your enjoyment for writing will blossom like the trees on Locust Walk. You will share stories and lessons you have learned with the Penn community, and it will feel great!

Career development:

• Reach out to Penn alumni! It will change your path. You will consider applying straight to law school or taking a gap year. Alumni (and professors!) will help you reach a decision you find authentic to you. They will have a lot of wisdom to impart about figuring out post-grad life. Listen to them, yet also learn to make up your own mind. Do your own research and don’t take people’s advice as gospel.

• It is not the end of the world if you do not have a summer internship! Spend your college summers in ways that feel right to you. You will travel abroad to London to see some outstanding theater. You will take classes during the summer. You will resign from an online internship in order to try your hand at creative writing.

• You may feel anxious about not building your resume with internships, yet as long as you are enjoying what you are doing, then keep doing it! If you don’t like what you are doing, then pivot to something else!

• You will experience some rejection from internships you apply for, and that’s okay! Rejection is simply redirection and you will find your way!

Figuring out how to be a young adult:

• Another one of your mantras will be that “we’re all learning as we go.” Learn to be easy on yourself. Relax. Be humble and even amused in recognizing what you do not know yet. Be eager to learn new things, whether it be doing laundry or figuring out how a lease works.

• When deciding where you would like to live, take your time to get to know your options. Ask yourself, “Am I enjoying this living arrangement, or would I like to look into other options?” You are not stuck where you are. You have options!

• As an extrovert, be open to living with roommates, even people you don’t know beforehand! It makes your living space vibrant and exciting. If you are worried about whether it will be noisy to live with roommates, it will sometimes. However, the social benefits far outweigh the loneliness of living by yourself.

The world is going to change a lot during these next four years. You will be going to college during a historic time, and you will be fortunate enough to help document history-in-the-making. There will be times where you question what you are doing, yet keep going! You can do it!

Here are my two takeaways I hope you remember:

1. Slow down

2. You’re learning as you go.

You got this!

Sincerely your future self,

Jaden Cloobeck

April 2022

Philadelphia, PA

jadencloobeck@gmail.com

Dear 18-year-old Devin,

Toronto is a great city, but I know you are not satisfied by merely attending the University of Toronto. You want to build a better future in the US. And for that, you worked much harder than many around you. You are insistent, you want to try again. Soon, you will move from Chestnut Street, Toronto to Chestnut Street, Philadelphia. And remember, when you open Penn’s acceptance letter in Robarts Library at U of T, both you and your mom will cry.

Those joyful tears will lead you to a whole new world. There will be smoking frat brothers who will try to induct you into their organization, where you will develop better social skills at the expense of your GPA. There will be the basement of Meyerson Hall where you will envision the future of brain-computer interfaces, and also a budding relationship with a girl you will lose shortly after. There will be late-night talks that you will wish you had ended earlier, and conversations you will wish you had continued longer. Maybe you will want to stay at Smokes longer, get more drunk, or maybe you will want to reach out to that professor so that you would actually have an h-index in your senior year.

One overcast October morning, after attending CIS 521 lecture, you will walk on Locust. As you approach Hamilton Village, you will be walking against all the people coming out of the high rises, going to class. Their steps hurried, their backpacks filled, their hair washed… Ambitious people, smart people, dumb people, impulsive people, stable people—but most importantly young people, all living together, all walking to class on Locust together, all doing things that only young people can do, will do, and should do. At that moment, you will realize that you will probably never see that again after college. You will feel so happy and fortunate to be here, to be part of that experience.

As the end of that experience nears, you will cherish it more and more. You will try to get dinner with all the people you care about. You will forget to respond to texts. You will be a sloppy contributor in group assignments. Most of all, you will still eat at 1920 Commons like a freshman. But your time at Penn will be worth it. You lived a life that has stories worth telling. But before I go, just remember—on your move-in-day, put these pictures in your dorm room, they will remind you of what really matters:

The picture of your mom’s birthplace, remember that your mom was literally born in a cave in rural China.

That picture of the 8-year-old skiing, so that you will never be less kind or less hopeful than that.

The picture of the 10-year-old taking apart a DSLR camera, just in case you forget how curious and creative you can be.

Remember how you got here, and the obstacles you had to overcome so that you could create the future you wanted, in the countries you’ve lived in, and the schools you’ve attended. Don’t let others create a future you don’t want. Don’t let others create the future you are envisioning.

Create that future you want.

With love,

Devin

Dear Freshman Mariana,

Remember when you wrote in your application essay how you were eager to live intensely? Assuming the challenges and consequences that come with it? Well, let me tell you — you are about to. Words fail to explain what is about to happen. If I could go back in time and talk to you, I would start by saying that the fears that you have right now are not necessarily accurate indicators of what you are going to experience. Some of the biggest challenges will come unexpectedly. I am sorry, but you are going to grow a lot in the next four years, and growth is rarely comfortable. But don’t be scared, we love the end product.

Academics won’t be that hard. Your hardest class? Math 104, freshman fall. After that, I can promise you, you are good to go. So you must be thinking, well, then what? Isn’t that what Penn is all about? Jaja. Simple me. Not quite.

Finding a job will be stressful, but only for a year. You might anxiously wait for an email. Cry a couple times, only for your parents to look at you and tell you to get your shit together because it is only a job, they are right, but you were under a lot of pressure. Two months later, you will be sitting on the floor, grinding for an interview in the middle of the start of a pandemic, playing instrumental music in the background to focus because the world is kind of falling apart but you have to keep going. Spoiler alert: You will get the offer and you are going to love it! And then blow all of your internship money to travel to Turkey and visit Dracula castles with your mom.

You are going to fall in love for the first time. And experience heartbreak and rejection — several times. It will hit you like a train. Don’t try to rationalize it. This is my most important piece of advice. Love fully. Because you will anyway. And give up sooner. Love him when you can, and then write a novel if you have to, to get over it. And don’t be too harsh on yourself.

Being an international student will often be challenging. You will struggle with being away from home (I know, that is insulting to you right now, but believe me, nice weather and family? You are going to miss that after some time). Moving somewhere new every couple months will eventually wear you down (yes, you are not immune). You will start daydreaming about staying in one place for more than a couple months. Financial support will be quite literally swept away from you, but with perfect timing. Parents will get divorced. And you may feel like you are falling off a cliff against your will and you are not ready. But don’t worry. You will become compassionate and empathetic. It’s okay, you will develop some coping mechanisms, like crying and hugging yourself until you gain the strength to fight back. And through it all, for some magical reason, things will align to help you out along the way.

You will go not on one, but two 103-day long international trips. You are going to conduct research at a law school in a small town in northern Portugal, go to Russia for a month, study abroad in Scotland, and travel all over Europe in between. You will discover Eastern Europe and write a beautiful thesis on Estonia. In sum, you will have your dream college experience.

Work hard, play hard will become more relevant each semester. Friendship will gain an entire new meaning. You will become friends with people from all over the world. There will be nights where you will dance and sing at the top of your lungs. You will get into drinking wine, beer and cocktails. You will learn to enjoy life. There will be a turning point when you will say: I may not win the big battles, but I am going to win all the small ones. And you will surprise yourself. You always felt like you could be a little bit crazy, turns out that wasn’t just a feeling, I have no doubts anymore — you definitely are. But in the best way. You will perfect the casual way of taking leaps of faith. You will be bold and refreshingly authentic. And I would not want to have it any other way.

If I had one piece of advice, it would be to try to make it easier on you. You deserve to not have to fight an uphill battle all of the time. And not all jumps are worth the fall. But, regardless.

Good news — we are on track to become who we want to be! Somedays, I feel like we actually are. Brace yourself for plenty of moments when you just randomly smile because you are doing exactly what you dreamed of. The person who you are in four years, she is passionate, crazy, and beautiful. She is someone you would be proud of.

Authentically,

Mariana

Dear Freshmen Jess,

Welcome to college. I know you’ve heard this before, but these four years will go by so quickly. You might not feel like it will now, but between classes, assignments, meetings, and errands, your free time is actually very limited and valuable. Remind yourself that among all the chaos, each day is a new opportunity to learn. College is literally four years dedicated to your growth without any other responsibilities or expectations.

You came into college wanting to go against the grain, but you’ll find that’s tough at Wharton. Even the career counselor will say so. You won’t find a community for what you’re passionate about, so you’ll change course. You’ll wish you started building those communities instead.

Freshman year, you’ll tell yourself that you’ll never go into banking or consulting. By sophomore spring, you’ve already sold out. Banking will feel like your best option at the time, but signing the offer letter will feel like signing your soul away.

Pretty soon, you’ll recognize that there are opportunity costs to keeping doors open. You’ll drop out of a selective dual-degree program that you worked so hard to get into. But what you’ll realize is no amount of prestige matters if it’s not a good fit for yourself. And that it’s okay not to be good at something or to not like something. At some point, it stops being about “exploring” or “figuring things out”. It’s about having an honest conversation with yourself, or your best friend, or your mom.

Trust your intuition. You know yourself better than you think you do. Remember how I said time is limited? You’ll find that the more time you spend doing what other people are doing, the less time you’ll have to pursue something that actually resonates with you. Because nobody else matters except for you at the end of the day. You’ll learn to differentiate between what you want and what society wants, whether it’s the same thing or different.

Recognize that nuance, and be intentional. It’s better to stop swimming and wade in the same place than to swim in the wrong direction. By junior summer, you’ll find yourself turning down “better” opportunities because they weren’t better for you. “Everything’s going to be okay” is not the mindset you want to have in general. You don’t want things to just be okay; you want to live your best life. Optimize whenever possible. Putting in the effort to set yourself in the right direction will save yourself so much more time and energy in the future.

Being intentional also applies to your relationships. Surround yourself with people who reinforce positive energy in your life, and cut out those who take away from it. You’ll get yourself out of an unhealthy long-term relationship, and in doing so, you’ll learn how to be your own individual again. You’ll learn there are things you shouldn’t have to compromise on.

Going to therapy and journaling actually helps. Putting words to your feelings will help you process and gain clarity in a way that sitting alone with your thoughts, muddled up in your head, won’t. Because are you really living life if you’re not thinking about it and reflecting on it? Don’t just go through the motions; face your feelings. Remind yourself again that each day is a new opportunity to learn, to internalize each experience and understand more about yourself and the world.

That being said, take even more risks. The world is your oyster, so take advantage of it. You learned in high school that an object will not change its motion unless a force acts on it. In the same way, don’t expect anything in your life to change until you do something. Don’t be afraid because the worst that could happen is, well, nothing. You’ll get really comfortable with cold emailing people. You’ll become the president of two Wharton organizations. You’ll book a last-minute flight to LA to be in a YouTube video. You’ll start your own newsletter.

But the most important thing I want you to take away from this is to be authentic. More likely than not, when you’re authentic, people will resonate with you and actually appreciate the vulnerability. Sharing the unsexy sides of life is so rare these days. Be authentic to yourself as well. Ask yourself and answer honestly: If you were on your deathbed, would this life have belonged to you, or to society?

At the very core, you’re still going to be the same person you are now at the end of the next four years. You’ll have that same drive, motivation, and authenticity to yourself. However, a lot of these lessons will grow you into a wiser, more empathic person with more clarity of your purpose and values. You’ll wish you knew these lessons going into college, but realistically speaking, you’re not going to internalize them until you’ve gone through these experiences yourself.

Don’t worry though, you’re going to do great. The most important thing you can do now is to be intentional and reflect. Now go out there, and make the most out of these next four years.

Love,

Jessica Shen

jessicatshen@gmail.com

Freshman Carol,

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I could describe the next four years to you — trust me, there is so much I wish I could tell you in person before you blindly move almost three-thousand miles to a campus you had never visited before to go to a school you applied to because, frankly, you thought it was the best one you could get into — and I think the most accurate way to begin is that it will be the most unpredictable, tumultuous, intimate yet lonely four years of your life.

I know you think that the small things you grapple with right now are insurmountable; that those tiny quarrels of your everyday life as a seventeen-year-old recent high school graduate will be solved once you have a clean slate in college. Because, let’s be honest, you don’t really know what everyone means when they say you’ll grow a lot in college, that there will be challenges and laughter and everything in between. I know that you think you have fully developed and nurtured every value you have, but you are about to enter a time where every aspect of your identity is challenged among the proximity you have to so many other strong voices, potent interests, and vivid comparisons. It is so easy to compare yourself and fall into a cycle of self-loathing — and more often than you wanted to, perhaps you did — but I urge you to fight it and embrace things that make you truly happy, albeit uncomfortable at times. Independence is hard, made harder by its novelty and intensity: embrace it fully.

With that, independence:

Learn to be independent before you strive for companionship. Solitude is a catalyst for growth and, as much as it is hard to embrace now, you will revel in all those nights you spent by yourself, indulging in your favourite television, starting a new book that you’ve had on your to-read shelf for years, learning a recipe that you recall your grandmother making for you.

Focus less on the permanence of people and more about embracing experiences whilst doing what feels good. It is a huge cliche to say that you will remember the time you spent with others over your GPA and that there is no use on fretting over those last few hours before a midterm that you desperately try to cram some studying into, but it is true: I cannot recall a single midterm in detail, nor can I attest to whether or not the late-night cramming worked or not. Yet, remembering the long, aimless walks to old city with your friends. Relishing the sunny mornings in West Philadelphia exploring coffee shops to find the best Americano or Almond Milk Flat White. Having never tried Mediterranean food before college for it to evolve to one of your favourite cuisines. Embracing lazy evenings that turn into spontaneous movie nights and endless bottles of wine. These experiences that are so uniquely yours, rose-tinted and glorious, that you remember as defining anchors of what makes you happy as you grow up — these are the times that you remember. Thus, as much as every academic hurdle seems insurmountable, trust that you will find a way. I have never once seen you not find a way.

Next, self-compassion:

This is something you will struggle with undeniably from the start of college until the end; it seems intertwined with your fate as a daughter of an immigrant family who grew up in the ever-so-competitive space that is Vancouver. Out of every other practice you should embrace, please talk to yourself the way that you would talk to those you love. You will not find compassion, love, and growth in others unless you find it within yourself first — and amidst all the uncertainty, heartbreak, rejection, and pain, you will learn that you have been trusted with this life because you are strong enough to live it. Learn to acknowledge your thoughts healthily. You will experience some of the truly highest highs and lowest lows, but they will pass as quickly as they came — even if it may not feel like it. You may feel like you’re under constant scrutiny at times; trust me, you are not: any thought others have about you is as fleeting as thoughts that pass your own mind.

To take away: remember that judgment is always a reflection of the beholder, not the target. Count what you are proud of and practise gratitude for everything in your life, big or small. Dive into experiences with an open mind. Let yourself feel all your emotions to the fullest, the bad and good, and learn to revel in its intensity as you learn to be better, stronger. Days will be long and slow, easy and hard, but they will inevitably be yours: vivid, compelling, important.

Best of luck,

Your future self, who turned out just fine at the other end

Dearest Gabi (or anyone reading this),

I know right now you feel like you know everything, or at least exactly how the next four years will look. Why shouldn’t you? You’ve dreamed of going to Penn since the ripe age of 10…you’ve done summer programs, classes, activities all geared towards this one goal: having the Penn experience written about on BetchesLoveThis.com. But, I want to promise you, there is such beauty in embracing uncertainty. You may have followed some of the path you dreamt of, but you also may have missed out on so much beauty being convinced you had to follow this path. But it’s okay, life is long and there’s a lot of life left to be lived.

Taylor Swift asked, how can a person know everything at 18 and nothing at 22, and honestly…I have zero answer. In so many ways, I feel like I know so much less than I thought I did as a freshman, so here are the few things that have stuck with me over the past four years and helped me to embrace being okay, feeling so much more unsure than I did four years ago.

Below are eight stories (I feel arrogant saying tidbits of advice because seriously, what does 21.75 year old Gabi know). Each one is from each semester in chronological order….

1. Comparison is the thief of joy.

Okay hey! You’ve arrived on Penn’s campus. Your arms are burned with third degree burns from a laser hair removal and honestly, this experience burned…emotionally and physically. So another small lesson here, don’t be so vain and also trust yourself. You knew something felt wrong at that doctor, so in the future, speak up. And also, who cares if you have arm hair. It’s life. Literally, who cares. I know how easy it is to spend this semester looking around at others and being down on yourself, but trust me…everyone is doing the same. It isn’t worth it to focus on others and worry about creating your “group.” Do what feels fun, and if that is having one friend and dancing to Swift with that one friend…oh well. If whoever else is as lucky as 18 year old Gabi was, she may end up being your bridesmaid and best friend for life. So trust me, focus on you and what feels fun and right to you. There also may not be anything that feels fun right now, and that’s fine. It’s a transition.

2. Rejection is never personal, and you’re not the main character (unless you want to be, and if so, go off queen)

Well second semester freshman year didn’t exactly go as planned or as the movies made it seem. Joining a sorority was so much fun, but it’s not exactly like things fall into place personally. So, I know this semester especially there were SO many moments (like so many) that feel like you’re not enough. Not enough for that boy, for that group of girls, and crying in Commons over a boy was a low, but now you see that it’s NEVER personal. Reread this sentence: Rejection is never about you and you are not the main character of every moment. Rejection is just your redirection. It’s not that you’re not enough; it simply comes down to the fact that you’re objectively not the main character of that story. Make sure you have someone you can be honest with and talk to, someone you want to call and can call any hour of the day, someone who can talk through the stickiness of these situations with you and remind you: it’s not personal. For 18 year old Gabi, that was (and always will be) mom. Thank those people who answer the phone at any hour of the day okay? You’re so lucky to have them. So yeah, rejection isn’t about you. Everyone experiences it, and it’s whoever’s loss.

3. It’s okay to have fun.

Sophomore fall time! Sophomore fall happened. It moved fast, and when it ended it was almost like…shit, what just happened?! And that’s okay. There didn’t need to be a big moment that taught you something. You will enjoy and find people. These people will fall in and out of your life, and if all some of them were good for was fun…that’s okay. Fun is legal. It’s also okay to fall into the trap of thinking you have to have your life figured out, work in finance and live in New York. You’re allowed to be convinced of this and growing up is becoming unconvinced of this. Feels weird, I know. Not every person needs to be someone special and not every decision needs to be around accomplishing something. You can just exist and take each moment for what it is.

4. There is no timeline to life.

Undeniably the most important lesson I learned sophomore spring. Ah yes, March 2020 - how could anyone forget. Gabi, you were convinced you needed to get into this summer program or else. So you did. You have always known how to achieve your goals and these goals were on a very intense timeline. Unfortunately, the world did not “okay” this timeline and a global pandemic came into play. So no, you didn’t get to do the OCR you envisioned or the summer program that you were convinced was going to get you a job and a boyfriend. But, it’s okay. Life is long and there is no timeline. You plan and whoever is holding the strings to life will laugh at that plan, and that’s fine.

5. You have to like you first.

So after being in quarantine from March to August, there were lots of big emotional and physical changes returning to campus. And that’s great. You now think you’re hot shit, and I love that for you, but here’s the thing…it doesn’t really matter how you look. Going back to freshmen fall, we really don’t need to care if we have arm hair or not. It really doesn’t matter what you look like, as long as you like you. Nobody else can (or will) like you until you like you. And also, while we’re on this note. It’s cool to care. Care about a boy, your family, your friends, your clubs, your passions. I don’t know why we all glorify being chill - you’re never going to be chill. Stop trying. Embrace how much you care about everyone and everything. Learn to like how hard you love and how much you care. It’s a part of you!

6. Family is really all that matters (including your chosen family)

Family is all that matters. In every way. And whoever that includes, is up to you. You will meet some people who are so special, so so so special. And people you never expected to find so special, even when you met them freshman year, and now they’re family. Treasure your chosen family like you do your given family. On the note of given families, while you entered college feeling free and like family was a given, it isn’t. You’re so lucky to be surrounded by so many family members that adore you, and that is a gift, not a burden. While growing up is so exciting, your family is growing up too. Treasure the moments together, even the hard ones. You will learn this semester the power of family and how important it is to show up for family. While family, (like all the best things in life), can be incredibly messy, they’re all that matters. Be present for them.

7. Confidence is the only trait you need (aka you’re the shit)

Yes, you’ve always wanted to be described as funny or smart, but the only trait that matters when push comes to shove is being confident. You’ve gotten the pleasure of being surrounded by such brilliant, smart, intellectual people. But you’ve realized, what you admire the most is the people who are confident enough to chase after their dreams and goals. But don’t let them intimidate you (comparison is the thief of joy, remember). Whoever is reading this, believe in yourself a quarter of as much as 21.75 year old Gabi does and you’re going to be fine. I joked that I would’ve never gotten the job I have now if recruiting would have been on campus because I wouldn’t have been confident enough to go to those events. True, you learned by reading and discussing in classes such as Existential Despair that the job you got isn’t your dream job, but you proved to yourself you could do it. In the future, there’s no need to prove anything to yourself. Be confident in exactly who you are and what you can bring to the table. Believe you’re the shit.

8. Things have a way of working out

So this paragraph is written to my freshman year self, yes, but also to my senior year self. There was no moment in the past four years when you decided you wanted to abandon this image of college you created; however, you really did in some ways. You created an experience filled with so many interesting people and so many interesting experiences. The realization will creep up on you that you’re no longer the same person, but that isn’t a bad thing. Take the time to look around and pause. Beauty is only there if you’re looking. Don’t feel so much pressure to find it though, as you have learned. Live each moment for what it is, and that will be beautiful. And all these moments, happy, sad and indifferent were growth. Time flies and as you look back, you see how much you’ve changed, and that is beautiful.

You will always be the girl who came on campus in the fall with burnt arms and who then was so clumsy she tripped and lost her teeth in the woods. Yes, it was embarrassing, but it’s a story. Okay, yes, so one last lesson, everything is a story. Do it for the plot. Collect these moments because the plot will be written whether or not you choose to embrace it.

I love you, Penn, and I love every person who helped me write these moments and stories. And on that note: I hope whoever reads this writes their story fearlessly, authentically and being okay with embracing some uncertainty.

With all my love,

Gabi

Dear Freshman Sarthak,

You are here! Your dreams to live in the picturesque dorms of the Quad – although very questionable – have come true. You have flown thousands of miles away from family and everything that is familiar to get here. You have taken the first step to invest in yourself. Take this as an opportunity to learn more about the world and, more importantly, about yourself.

When I was your age, I didn’t even know my interests, what I valued, or what I cared about. I am sure you feel that way. It just seems that everything you are – you were told to be. You were told to be sincere, diligent and hardworking. Someone who gets good grades and does extracurriculars based on what was told to be “good” for you. There was a set of dos and don’ts that were fed to us by parents, teachers, peers and mentors. These dos and don’ts have become your core set of values and beliefs. This could be a good and bad thing, so it is up to you to realize what edits you make to them. College is figuring out for yourself what your terms are and what you like.

Let people keep their preconceived notions. If you want to start a club – do it, want to start a travel vlog on YouTube – do it, want to make friends with people you have nothing in common with – do it, want to party – do it. You are responsible for your decisions. I know it is scary to be judged by your significant other, grandma, friends, parents, or people from your hometown, whoever. But it is even scarier to get to the end of college and realize you let people rob you of the college experiences you were supposed to have, because you were scared of what they thought of you.

To this end, I give to you three tools at your disposal.

1. ­Seek Discomfort (frequently and often!)

If you don’t put yourself in situations that are unfamiliar, unnerving, and uneasy, you will not grow. Think about those key moments where you grew the most in high school – what is the common denominator? The unnerving feeling of speaking in front of a large audience or the uneasy feeling of being judged when starting a new initiative or venture. The point is making sure that every two months, you are in spaces – clubs, activities or friend groups – where you have no feeling of familiarity. This will be hard, but it will open you to new experiences. Make sure that every month, you are hosting new people to build deeper friendships. Make sure that every two weeks, you are checking in with yourself about your goals. Make sure that every week, you talk to one new person. And make sure that every day before you go to bed, you do at least one thing that scares you or learn something you didn’t know before.

2. Know the power of asking

If you are seeking discomfort, things are bound to get hard. This is not meant to scare you but really to tell you that if you need help, just ask for it. You’ll be surprised at how many people are willing to help you. You will realize that in the different spaces you are part of, you will find different people to guide you in a variety of ways. I got emotional, physical, financial, mental, and spiritual support, to name a few. No matter how well you plan your days, this will happen; next time you are up at 2 am trying to figure out homework, ask that random kid in McClelland for help. In these moments of finding support, you’ll find yourself vulnerable. Sometimes you will even fail, but don’t be afraid of that. This is all part of the process and in these moments of vulnerability and questioning that you will find your true self.

3. Don’t be afraid to let go

If there are certain things that are holding you back from accomplishing what you want to do, don’t shy away from re-evaluating things. If you always believed that you had to get A+’s in all your classes and that doesn’t feel like your goal anymore, that is okay. It is not the end of the world if you don’t want to be friends with the same people or be part of the same clubs. If you don’t ditch things that are no longer valuable for you, you will never be able to find the things that are. If you value going out with friends on a Wednesday night, well then, go for it. If you value sleeping in or hanging out with your best friend, do just that. Ditch what others have to say – they seldom know you. You know you, and I want you to listen closer and deeper.

In my time at Penn, I have grown closer to finding myself – my values and interests. What was most precious were the memories I made with people that I had grown to call home. It was those spontaneous road trips to Wissahickon Valley Park or Atlantic City that made my time at Penn. It was all the excitement to celebrate different Penn Traditions. It was the joy of learning and doing. I hope you find all those things and better.

I wish I had someone who had pushed me. I wish I had someone who told me it’s okay to mess up once in a while. I wish I had someone to tell me that it is okay to not live up to others’ expectations. But I am here to tell you now and anyone reading this letter that if your 5-year-old self and your 80-year-old self are happy, then those are all the people you need to please. For those who are reading this and need a push, I am here to talk to. Just an email away – I mean it!

With love and care,

Senior Bestie Sarthak

jainsarthak2000@gmail.com

Dear Baby-faced Jake,

Welcome to college! I promise it’s significantly more normal than the movies make it seem. Strap in, because the next four years of your life will be hands down your most transformative, as you grow from an old boy into a young man. You’ll start off strong, fall to some low lows, somehow accidentally attend an online school, but by the end of the ride you’ll look back and smile at all you’ve accomplished. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Here’s some nuggets about Penn and life that may help speed up your progress along the way.

Stop being a perfectionist! We get it, you got straight A’s in high school. Well, so did the rest of the people here. Grades are not the metric of success, and the faster you lose your 4.00, the better (spoiler alert: you will survive). That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t work hard—you definitely should — but there comes a point where getting ice cream with your friends at night is just an objectively better decision than doing that much better on an assignment or an exam. As cliche as it sounds, if you focus more on the learning, your grades will follow anyway.

The best way to curb your perfectionism and not bomb your classes is to stop wasting time on the things that don’t matter. You’ll be surprised by how much time college gives you to do whatever you want. Take advantage of that, and don’t spend all your time studying (side note: please don’t take more than 5 credits a semester). Quit the YouTube and all the other time-wasting and go live life! The world is your friggin’ oyster, kid.

On that note, be spontaneous! Franklin’s Fountain closes at midnight and is a quick subway ride downtown; you owe it to yourself to randomly grab a buddy and head over for a late night ice cream run. Find people who will drop everything and just do fun stuff with you. They’re the best, and they’re out there.

How do you find them? Get out of your own head and talk to people. They don’t bite :) Talk to everyone! Will some of it be awkward? Duh. But you’ll get better at it and will eventually meet some great people along the way. In my opinion, Penn’s single greatest strength is the group of people that it brings together; maybe you should try meeting more than 20 of them? You’re right to think that “networking” is a silly thing the snakes do. But don’t confound it with meeting awesome people. You’ll come to learn that Penn culture does this dumb thing where it shunts people off into their own little bubbles. If you’re complacent, you’ll stay in whichever bubble you get thrown into. So don’t be complacent! Go to random events you find interesting, join clubs on a whim and drop them when they get boring, strike up random conversations with strangers in a dining hall - just talk to everyone. You know that having a large peer group fuels you, and you owe it to yourself to take advantage of this awesome opportunity you’ve been provided with.

On the note of doing what you know is good for you, take care of your body and your mind. You might be surprised to learn that Pottruck (“Potty”) is now your second home, your diet consists of more chicken than a Purdue farm, and you frequently pay homage to Marcus Aurelius when explaining the mental models under which you operate. That’s right—if you want to start actually liking how you look in the mirror (and loving yourself in general), you’re going to have to do more than routinely eating 1000-calorie chicken finger hoagies from Wawa (by the way, if you’ve never had one, you gotta try it once - your taste buds…and then your bowels… will thank you). It’s not a matter of effort, it’s a matter of knowledge. Learn how to eat well and how to exercise well (the internet is actually a pretty good resource once you learn how to wade through the crap). More importantly, learn how to manage your stress well. Read! Learn how to recognize habits that make you depressed, and begin working on cultivating the discipline to stop those habits. Do things! You get sad when you sit around and do nothing all day. So stop doing that! Take agency over your actions and control over your life. Treat your body (mind included!) like the temple that it is. By the way, this includes eating ice cream on a near-daily basis (you’ll notice the running theme here - sure, parties are fun but have you tried ice cream???); the 80-20 rule is your friend (i.e., 20% of your diet can be the fun stuff :) = ice cream :p). Your body will thank you. And you’ll be deeply happy for the first time in a long time.

Lastly, do what feels right. You’re going to get a lot of conflicting advice over the next four years, especially when it comes to your career. Everyone has their own opinion about what is good for you. You know whose opinion matters? Yours, and yours alone. Obviously, it's important to solicit feedback from mentors and other peers that you trust, but you can’t do what is right for them. I can’t stress enough how important it is that you do what is right for you. If you’re unsure, that’s ok. Going to Penn puts you in a really awesome spot; just pick a path and go. In the words of one of my computer science professors, “be a greedy algorithm;” pick what’s right for you in the moment. You’re a smart cookie, things will work out.

I believe in you.

Much love,

Jake G

jake.gurevitch@gmail.com

P.S. Also, quit worrying about girls and dating. Not only is it unattractive, but you’ve got bigger things to care about. I promise it’s all less complicated than you think. Just focus on legitimately having a fun life and the rest will come in due time :)

P.P.S. Yes, your roommate does suck this year (rip random assignment). Just ignore him and go live your life.

P.P.P(?).S. I wrote this while eating a whole pint of Halo Top. I really can’t sell this ice cream thing enough.

Dear Freshman Kaitlyn,

It’s unbelievable this moment has finally come. You read every single one of these letters your freshman fall, thinking it all felt so far away. But now, and it’s a bit terrifying to say, you’re just a month away from graduating.

The one thing you searched for in these letters as a nervous, imposter syndrome-stricken freshman was a sense that the college experience gets better. You wanted to read for proof that the dread and loneliness you were feeling was just symptomatic of freshman year and not indicative of Penn as a whole. That you didn’t need to have taken 20 APs in high school to be smart at Penn, that you would eventually find that college friend group your parents talked about, that you would eventually feel like Penn wasn’t such a scary place. I am here to definitively write that your college experience 100% gets better after freshman year.

That’s not to say you had the perfect college experience. Far from it. A pandemic hit your sophomore year and fundamentally changed what you thought your experience would be. But beyond global catastrophes, there were the ordinary challenges of hundreds of rejections from clubs, internships, jobs. There were feelings of inadequacy (academically and socially), not belonging, and a general fear of the unknown. But those experiences became a defining part of your college journey— so much so that you joined a club that embraces failure and nontraditional career paths. More importantly, you learned that every negative feeling passes eventually. That perspective, that grounding, has served as your bellwether throughout your Penn experience.

A few pieces of unsolicited advice:

1. Talk to your professors earlier.

   Don’t be scared to talk to your professors! The vast majority of them are incredibly kind and extremely intelligent people. It wasn’t until I was deep into my sophomore year that I began to go to office hours consistently and ask professors on coffee chats to learn more about their career journey. Through conversations with your legal studies, philosophy, and Penn in Washington professors sophomore year, you realize that you love philosophy and law. You don’t start doing research until junior fall, but once you start, you realize that you love research too. Your thesis advisor is the first one to suggest pursuing academia and makes you feel like you can actually become a professor one day. You become a teaching assistant your senior year and realize you love teaching as well. None of this would have happened without talking to your professors.

2. It’s okay to not study 24/7.

   I know it feels like everyone is smarter than you and the only way to do well at school is to study twice as hard, but I promise that’s not the case. Study hard and throw yourself into your academic interests and the classes you love, but don’t let that consume your experience. Sophomore fall ends up being the most fulfilling academic semester, but you end up not hanging out with your friends as much as you should have that semester. Your freshman Four Yellow hallmates end up becoming friends for life— spend as much time with them as you can.

3. Keep putting yourself out there.

   One quality you grow to appreciate about yourself is your ability to invest 100% of yourself into the things you love. Some of your best memories from college are from experiences that were way out of your comfort zone—everything from going to Washington, DC with Penn in Washington, to writing and publishing a book, to applying for fellowships overseas. Keep going for things. Yes, 90% of the things you apply for don’t work out, but 10% do and that’s all you need. The 10% of the things that did work out end up changing your life and the trajectory of your post-grad career.

4. Be kind to others.

   College is hard. Admittedly, harder than you expected it to be before your freshman year. But it has also been fulfilling and rewarding in ways you can’t even begin to imagine (yet). One day, sooner than you think, you will be a senior reflecting on your college experience. Be kind to the freshmen that you meet in classes, clubs, and on Locust. Remember your freshman self and be generous with your time. Go on coffee chats with freshmen, take them out to lunch, check in with them, and make sure they are adjusting to college life. You realize that much of the reason you love being a TA is that you get to help out your freshmen. Be kind to your friends and family as well. Celebrate their birthdays and tell them you love them. The people you meet at Penn will, without a doubt, become the greatest part of your four years here.

So give it time. Keep meeting new people and putting yourself out there. It gets so much better than you can imagine!

Lots of love,

Kaitlyn R.

krentala13@gmail.com

Dear Freshman Christina,

I think you’d be anxious to read a letter from your graduating self like this. You’d have a lot of questions but be scared to find them answered. You might scan each word looking for hints of concealed dismay, wondering if you ended up making the most of this thing called university.

Right now, your world is still small. You’re living in that tiny Fisher single where you can scoot back a foot from your desk and hit your bed. Life is fast-paced but veiled with gloom. You’re up early in the mornings for your 9ams, and it seems like something’s always next on the calendar to run late to. But you still don’t know what you like or want to study, and you still haven’t found your community (not yet), and you’re still calling your high school friends every night to stave off the loneliness.

Christina, don’t be anxious. In four years, things will be good. So good, in fact, that you might even feel a tiny bit of disappointment that you never experienced a crazy character arc, hit rock bottom, or emerged as a reborn phoenix with a new take on life.

Instead, by most people’s standards, you’ll live a decorated life at Penn. This is largely what you came here hoping for. The subject you use to give yourself a break from Wharton will soon become your passion and second major. You’ll do well in your classes, join fulfilling communities, make friends, be done with recruiting early, start a club, and check off a few bucket lists in the process. And you’ll be just enough of a libertine to add an edge to the sheltered, strait-laced person you were in high school.

So let’s not worry about success, whatever that means to you right now. Instead, I have two pieces of advice. One, stay grounded. Two, be brave.

One, stay grounded. Call your parents. Text your brother. Keep sending him funny Reddit posts you stumble across. Treasure that girl you met on day one of NSO because she’ll remain your best friend, and you’ll be living with her after graduation. Remember who you are without the labels and associations. And remember who everyone else is too. Under the Greek Letters and festooned Instagram bios are people you share this experience with. People from all over the world! Never let the significance of being at this place, in this moment, with these people, fly over your head. When everything seems superficial and meaningless, board the SEPTA and remember that your world, however much it seems to expand, is still small.

Two, be brave. Introduce yourself even when you’d rather avoid eye contact and you’re also pretty sure they hate you. Submit that application for the club you just know will reject you. Take interesting and hard classes. Admit your insecurities in conversation, and watch them be healed and accepted. Yell. Be loud. Everyone’s obnoxious all the time, so you might as well be too. Fall in love. Yes, you’re capable of it. Don’t run from love. It won’t be big and scary like you imagined. It’ll be a sum of many small things.

College is everything you hoped for, and if you do as I say, it’ll be a whole lot more. But more importantly, you’ll be a whole lot more. Good luck, and come see me soon.

— Christina L.

Dear Young Sanjiv,

As I am writing this letter, I am sitting in my room listening to some ZZ Top and Fleetwood Mac. You may think that that music is for old people, but trust me, you’ll vibe with it. After all, you are an old soul (don’t worry, you will still like death metal).

You are in one of the best positions right now. You are beginning a new life where you are independent. This means you’ll learn more about your academic and personal interests. This also means you’ll figure out where the empty bathrooms are in the Quad, or wonder what to do when you run out of meal swipes, because you spent most of them for cereal only. You are now in Philadelphia, which is magnitudes bigger than your hometown. I implore you, TAKE THE TIME to explore Philly (you like that Dream Theater reference?)! Don’t be under house arrest. Philly is a big, beautiful city. Take the SEPTA, and go record store shopping or just see the sights. Since Philly is a big city, so many of your favorite bands will come by. Go listen to some good music! Take a friend and just walk to Rittenhouse Farmers’ Market (the dogs there are very sweet, by the way). This is the best time to get out of your comfort zone. Penn has a diverse set of activities too, from music to arts, quick lectures, social gatherings, etc., so check those out. Free food is provided at most of those gatherings, by the way!

You already have some big plans for what you want to do when you hit the campus. You scored the research position, secured that clinical volunteering opportunity, and enrolled in the courses you needed. Your goal is to get a publication, network with some professors, and apply for that one scholarship you’ve been eyeing. You will accomplish some of these goals, but others may not work out. You will get frustrated and question your worth. First off, these dips are not reflections of your quality. You are a bit religious; believe that it is some Divine Force that is crafting a path they feel will be the best fit for you. Embrace that path; embrace the unknown. If you do, you will remove a great deal of stress and live your life in the present. More importantly, reflecting on rejections or failures is important, but don’t brood on them. There are so many great things out there to explore.

I will be honest and tell you that making friends will be difficult. Being in a new place, away from those you knew, you may feel isolated. Thankfully, the tight spaces in the Quad (or any freshman dorm) will allow you to mingle with others. Take advantage of that opportunity to meet people. Go to Spring Fling. Occasionally, check out a party. At other times, people may hang out in friend groups that you are not a part of (wow, I ended that sentence with a preposition). Don’t feel discouraged and lock yourself in your room staring at Facebook; get on a train and head out to Center City. When you take charge of your own life and schedule, not being dependent on others' schedules, people will come to you. I don’t know how to explain it, but this works. Also, this is a hot take, but get rid of Instagram. You won’t have to worry about the FOMO then.

The Penn experience is full of ups and downs, and there are times you will wonder why Penn chose you. I, nor anyone else, can give you an explanation for it, but in the four years you’re here, you will, hopefully, see it for yourself. It will probably be a complicated reason, but nonetheless, it will give you closure. Just remember the bigger picture: the several D’s you earned on those Organic Chemistry exams will not be the determining factor of your career. It is how you make the most of your time at Penn (but please, do go to office hours and figure out your mistakes). If you believe in yourself, you will come out victoriously.

Stay sharp, champion. You got four years ahead of you—go rock them.

Sincerely,

Sanjiv H.

Dear Freshman Aakruti,

You always knew it would be hard. In the months leading up to your departure from Singapore, your friends, professors, and even family would remind you of just how hard it would be. You were going to an Ivy League school thousands of miles away, with no support system in the area, and no understanding of how the American education system worked. You had an at best tenuous grasp of what your major would be (English literature, with premed so you could justify the hours spent poring over IB Biology), but you’d figure it out. Eventually.

But you had played this quartet before. You were always first chair (if not the conductor) of the assimilation orchestral suite. Your parents had moved you enough times; you knew how to adjust the parameters of your personality to fit in anywhere, to adhere to the mold of a new cultural paradigm, to metamorphosize into what the environment needed you to be.

If this were all true, why did you spend the first month of college in tears sitting on the duvet of your twin XL bed wishing you had gone anywhere else? If you had gone to England, maybe, you would’ve had a landing cushion in the form of your high school peers. If you’d gone to an easier school, possibly, you wouldn’t be agonizing over your first B+ on an English paper.

I thought a lot about Shlovsky’s defamiliarization. The term refers to when you look at an everyday object from a different perspective, effectively rendering it completely unrecognizable. The more I obsessed over my collegiate experience, the less I knew. The closer I looked, the more oblique the picture became.

I think you were waiting for the light-switch, the a-ha! moment, when the image would once again morph into something you were familiar with. That moment came dozens of times, and dissipated just as quickly. When COVID hit, you Marie-Kondo’d your college experience, cutting off the frayed edges of the tapestry of your life just so it would look a little neater. You quit things you’d been a part of since freshman year, made your peace with your major, and resumed writing after taking two years away from it. You became an editor for your school’s magazine, were accepted into the honors thesis program, and found an internship at a company you really cared about.

And still, nothing looked familiar. Your thesis sapped every ounce of your energy during your senior fall, you still had no clue what you wanted to do with your life, and graduation began to mock you ceaselessly from afar: it had been four years since you were an inept freshman, and you still couldn’t make the pieces fit.

I wish I could tell you that Penn didn’t take anything from you. Truthfully, it did. I don’t think you will ever feel as accomplished as you did in high school, as secure in your ambition, as familiar with the image in front of you. But somewhere along the way, you managed to do what you originally thought impossible. You took the jagged pieces of your fractured adolescence and created a sense of permanence. I wish I could tell you that this is the place where you will meet the people you don’t want to live without, where you will figure out what your real passions are, and where you will learn to fail without letting it break you. Your collegiate apartment will become the safety net you wanted along. Your friends will be the family that lives five minutes away.

The big picture will never possess the sense of familiarity you want it to. But you will learn to make your peace with that. You will learn to accept the flux that accompanies growing up, the instability that comes with being a 20-something, and the way the picture changes each time you look at it. Most importantly, you will learn to appreciate the fact that you cannot always make the pieces fit. The home you build, the friends you find, and the ambition you seek may be crude, vague, and constantly shifting. But they are yours.

-AJ

Dear Freshman Me,

Heading off to college will initially come with so much excitement and a sense for adventure. You craved the thought of leaving home and discovering yourself outside the small bubble of mosquitos and suburbs you knew so well. But you’re extremely naive. We still are! You don’t appreciate the reality that home is comfortable. It’s familiar. You could go to the woods and do stupid stuff with friends. You could skip school and suffer no repercussions. You’re lucky.

But you’re not ready for Penn. You will find any semblance of stability in your life torn apart. Your time at Penn will show you that life is far more complex, chaotic, and unforgiving than you could have ever imagined. There is hope though, but you’ll have to wait till the end.

I want to first address the biggest problem about you: you’re uncompromising. You are a control freak and want everything to go your way. Everything has already gone your way anyway. You went to the high school you wanted, got valedictorian like you said you would, and got into your university of choice. You want it, you got it.

But life isn’t that simple and here’s why: you fail! Don’t believe me? It’s painfully and comically true. You will fail your first exam. And then many more after that. You will switch majors and careers like a toddler picking their favorite toy car. You’ll make new friends and then be betrayed by them. You’ll get fired from your first job. You already lost your mom in high school and now you will lose your dad, the home you knew, and the future you thought you had. You will feel utterly lost and hopeless at your inability to change your circumstances or control a single thing in your life.

The hope I leave you, despite so many shortcomings and setbacks, is that you can and will find lasting peace and happiness. But not by your own means. It’s quite literally the opposite. I had mentioned earlier that you, like so many others, are a control freak. And this is where my advice is not going to make much sense but it’s really all you have to do: let go.

You have to let go of your expectations, anxieties, and fear of judgment. All you need to focus on is the present and appreciate the turbulence that comes with this life. It’s far easier said than done, but you will learn how to let go, even if it is painful at times. Year by year you’ll grow, and your grip will loosen. You should know that we are not defined by our circumstances or shortcomings. You will have opportunities to define yourself by your resilience and by embracing whatever hardships, joys, relationships, and opportunities that life throws at you.

Don’t blame yourself and be discouraged by the superficial success of those around you. You will find success and pride in whatever work you do. I implore you: enjoy your college years and try your best to approach life with the heart of a kid again, free of anxiety. Your interests will wander, and you will be emboldened. And most importantly, you will find happiness.

Good luck bro.

Dear Freshman Saru,

Right now, you’re done with high school and you’re really excited to be in college. You think this is the place where it’s all going to happen, where your life is going to magically fall into place and be perfect. Spoiler alert: it’s not. That ride or die friend group that you think you’ll have from day 1? Nope. That boy from high school that you think you’ll finally start dating? LOL. Constantly being happy and doing fun things? Also nope. College is not going to be the best four years of your life. But wait, before you get too discouraged, hear me out, because Penn is still going to be amazing, just in ways you may never have expected.

Freshman year will be a bit of a struggle. It’ll start off like you expect: fun and full of parties and new friends. But then the club rejections will start rolling into your inbox and you’ll realise that your perfect friend group isn’t that perfect at all. You will spend a lot of time scrolling through Instagram, comparing your life to other people’s and wondering why they’re having so much more fun and fitting in so much better than you. You’ll feel out of place and consider transferring. My advice? Go and have vulnerable conversations with people. Freshmen are really good at pretending that they’re not struggling, because they feel like they should be having the time of their lives with their people the moment that they get to college. Only when you walk into Saxbys in April of freshman spring and see people you know who you thought were perfectly settled in filling in transfer applications to Brown will you realize that it’s Penn Face and everyone’s feeling the same way.

Sophomore year, you will learn a lot about forgiveness. Your roommates who you spent months resenting will turn into your best friends and sisters for life. This is the time you will (finally) find your people and have some of the silliest memories of your college experience prancing around the DP office and eating greasy pizza at 2 am. But you will also spread yourself way too thin in terms of extracurriculars, your grades will take a dramatic drop, and you will end up leaving every FNCE 100 class to go to Pret for a cookie to stop yourself from spiraling. Learn to set boundaries.

Covid will also hit that year. It will be awful and confusing and scary and wonderful and relaxing all at the same time. You will spend a year at home and realize how much you care about your family. You will also finally start paying attention to your mental health (unfortunately your anxiety doesn’t go away as soon as you change zip codes), which is perhaps one of the most important things you will ever do. You’ll also become a little bit more woo-woo and spiritual (I know, you’re rolling your eyes right now).

Junior and senior year, academic stuff eases off a little bit and you have a job offer for a great company (crazy! I know). You end up doing so much fun stuff: going to late night Bollywood ragers at the Radian, going to a vineyard, going to Miami with your best friends, going on a party bus to Atlantic City, paint and sip, spending countless nights at Smokes, going on trips to PR and DR for breaks, throwing surprise midnight birthday parties, and (my favourite) sitting and talking shit on the couch for hours and hours. Let these moments remind you that having fun is so much fun. No matter how old you get or how serious and stressed people around you get with finals and OCR, never lose your childlike innocence.

Baby Saru, there are so many other things I can tell you but I’m going to leave you with my three biggest pieces of advice:

1. Focus on your mental health: get into a routine, find a workout that works for you (and stick to it), nourish your body, take breaks, spend time with people who make you smile and go for walks. Schoolwork or whatever other Penn bullshit can wait.

2. Be present in the moment: Take it all in. The way your roommates’ keys jangle as she walks into the hallway. The random wisdom your professor dispenses in a 4th floor Fisher Bennett classroom. The silly way your best friend says ‘no way!’ that you will end up adopting. The way that the blossoms on Locust Walk smell in the spring. The silly nights you’ll spend watching random desi videos on the couch. Get out of your head because all of this will end up going by a lot faster than you expect.

3. Everything happens for a reason: I truly firmly believe this. If you didn’t get into all the ‘cool’ clubs, you wouldn’t have met your best friends at the DP. If you didn’t sign a lease with people you barely knew in October of your freshman year, you wouldn’t have your ride-or-dies. You pretty much get everything you wanted in college, maybe just not in the ways you expected it.

I am so excited and a little jealous of the journey you are going to have. Now go have fun!

Love,

Saranya

Dear Penn Freshmen,

I spent the majority of my college experience (up until senior spring actually) comparing myself to my peers. I know I shouldn’t have - all anyone tells you is to stop comparing yourself to others and solely focus on yourself, but how realistic is that at a hyper-social place like Penn? What’s the worst is when it’s not even the strangers in your classes who always raise their hands or on LinkedIn who you compare yourself to, the worst is when it’s your best friends with whom you share so much of your life.

More specifically, my Penn experience has been defined by failures and regrets, which were exacerbated by the fact that my closest friends, who will most definitely be my groomsmen, surpassed me time and time again. During my freshman spring, I rushed a number of business and social fraternities with my best friends, going around to all the events with free food and free excursions. Even though we all agreed that we were just rushing for the “shake shack and date nights”, I slowly began to realize how much I wanted to join one of these organizations. It felt so exciting to be part of something bigger than myself, and to be adopted into a family of Penn students across all years, majors, and backgrounds, which was a diversity I hadn’t really achieved yet in my own social groups. However, I got cut from all the frats I wanted to join, which was a gut punch on its own. I remember receiving the rejection email from my top choice, a business frat I was rushing, and walking over to one of my closest friend’s room in the Quad for consolation. Although I knew he was rushing the same frat, my mourning blinded me from even considering if he got in. What I saw next was fucking heartbreaking: as I turned into his hallway, I saw the frat brothers at his door, waiting to surprise him with his bid. Out of embarrassment and shock, I turned around and ran down the stairs back into my room. Even though I quietly recited to myself all the reasons why I didn’t even want to join, tears began streaming down my face. To this day, I don’t know if the frat brothers saw me and recognized me, but the damage was done. Although I congratulated him enthusiastically, it was hell seeing him get so close to his new pledge class, have so much fun without me and our friend group, and grow up when I felt stuck in the same place. Comparing myself to him drove me to one of the lowest points in my life.

Later that freshman spring semester, a couple of my best friends and I were considering whether or not to transfer to Wharton from the College. I had come into Penn set on Pre-Law, but my freshman year courses had me questioning how committed I was to that path. After filling out all of the application materials and completing all of the prerequisite classes, I decided not to apply to transfer, a decision I was initially content with. However, I slowly learned that what seemed like 50 people I knew got in, including at least 7 of my best friends. Of course, I tried to tell myself to be happy for them and celebrate their achievements, but it soon became way too much. I was surrounded on all sides - I couldn’t have a single conversation with them without them talking about how excited they were or how they wished I transferred too. Slowly, I began to resent and hate myself - why did I willingly choose to get left behind? Even worse, it wasn’t even like the frat situation - it was my fault for not taking the leap, so I had no choice but to put all the blame on me. To be honest, I still feel some regret and think about the “what if?” from time to time. The fact that it was my best friends who abandoned me stings the most because we had our entire college experience planned out together - the classes and clubs we would do - but everything changed with those transfers.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t done with getting left behind or unhealthily comparing myself to others, because I had the biggest monster ahead of me: recruiting. As freshmen, you don’t know about it yet, but On-Campus Recruiting (OCR) is when Penn students fight over a tiny number of prestigious internships and full-time jobs by competing in gauntlets of interviews and applications. It’s by far more stressful than any class or test I’ve ever taken in my entire life. Entering my sophomore year spring, I thought I was ready for the recruiting process: I was a pretty good student with high enough grades, and thought I was a smooth talker. My final stats: 110+ applications submitted, 4 first round interviews, and 1 offer from a tiny consulting firm in Chicago (I’m still so thankful). Receiving so many rejections absolutely crushed me - it felt like I could never be enough or wanted, just like what happened with the frats. On cue, while I couldn’t muster even a single response from a brand name company, some of my best friends were already securing internships from places like Google, Facebook, and Goldman Sachs. I envied and despised them for already having their lives figured out - we were literally only 19 but they had offers that would likely lead to full time offers. Their entire early 20s were seemingly already set through one internship. But I couldn’t express that - I cheered them on and made toasts to their success. Meanwhile, I knew I had to repeat this hellish cycle of interviews and cover letters at least one more time.

As you could probably predict, my junior year recruiting cycle was not any better. I applied for all the prestigious consulting firms hoping that I would have a chance to secure my future. Spoiler: I did not get a single offer from the top 10 consulting firms, despite my hundreds of hours prepping, applying, and interviewing. I felt like a hopeless fool - like Charlie Brown trying to kick a football that always was pulled away from me at the last second. Once again, nearly all of my best friends somehow ended up with the offers of their dreams, and with many getting offers from the same firms I dreamed to work for. Just like the frat situation freshman year, I had to experience the pain of comparing myself to others first hand. I remember it so vividly: it was a Friday afternoon and I was hanging out with one of my best friends. I had just received a rejection call from a firm I really wanted to work from, and he was consoling me. In the middle of our conversation, he received a call from one of the top consulting firms giving him not only an internship offer, but a full time offer as well. (This firm was the one I had most wanted to work for) I still feel bad about this, but I’ll be honest: when he first told me the news when he got off the phone - I wasn’t happy for him. I wasn’t excited or proud. All I could think about was how I was now miles behind him in our life trajectory, friendship dynamic, and not to mention social clout as recruiting was all anyone was talking about at that time. I wanted so badly to be genuinely happy for him, but I just couldn’t. I remember celebrating his success with him that night with the rest of our friends, secretly burning up inside. Regretfully, I do think that his acceptance pushed us a little apart (at least on my end) which took a while to fix.

So there you have it: time and time again, I fell short and failed, while my best friends always seemed to come out on top. You’re probably wondering what the point of all of this was - does he want my pity? My condolences? No, I don’t. I’m here to tell you that despite all the shitty things that happened to me, I found my own path at Penn on my own time. Sophomore fall I rushed a different fraternity that I never really explored during my freshmen spring, and ended up receiving a bid there. Throughout the initiation process, I made friends that I consider some of my closest confidants and people who will stay in my life long after we send our own kids to college. Not transferring to Wharton ended up being a great decision, as I got to study under amazing professors in the College that I never would’ve explored otherwise, such as Psychology, Poetry, and Acting. And for recruiting, senior year ended up being what I hoped for: not only did I get offers at many firms that I was rejected by in previous years, I ended up with the job of my dreams. Of course, it doesn’t always wrap up this nicely, so I consider myself extremely lucky and fortunate.

Therefore, what I’m trying to say is that even though it may seem like you’re getting left behind socially, academically, or professionally, there is a place for you at Penn. It can be so easy to get trapped in comparing yourself to others, especially those you interact with everyday. But getting too caught up in that only leads to broken relationships and self-resentment, trust me. I don’t want to come across as overly preachy, but you have to constantly remind yourself that everyone moves on their own timeline, regardless of how the outward results appear. I’ve met some amazing people and received an amazing offer during my senior year, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.It’s comfortable to rely on the visible qualities, such as your job status, friend group, or G.P.A as litmus tests to compare yourself to others. I’m begging you to stop: although these are wonderful things that are great to strive for - they won’t matter 10 years from now, let alone for the rest of your life. So treat them like that. The fact that you’re here at Penn is an absolutely incredible achievement in itself - no one can take that away from you.

I’ll conclude with something that’s so funny to me: as I write this, I’m sitting in my living room with a couple of the people I mentioned in this letter. When I look at them, I don’t think of their job titles, salaries, or social affiliations, I just see my best friends enjoying each others’ company for one of the last times before we transition to a brand new chapter in our lives. I wish that I didn’t waste so much time and sleepless nights worrying about how I stood next to them, but I’m glad I can do so now. I’ve talked to them about it, confessed how jealous and resentful I’ve been, which wasn’t easy. It surprised me that they felt the same way about me and other peers, but then again, that’s not very surprising at all. So since we’re all picking someone to compare ourselves to, you might as well choose yourself. Trust me, I’m shocked at how much I’ve grown and matured since my freshman year, given all the shit that was thrown my way. I hope you find this letter helpful, and to hopefully find some comfort in knowing that you don’t have to find your path right now as a freshman, it’ll find you. Eventually.

Best,

Anonymous

Dear Freshmen Lark,

Right now, as I’m writing this letter to you, I have less than one month left before I graduate from Penn. How do I condense these past four years into a single letter to you? I can’t possibly capture it all, but I’ll try my best.

In these four years, you’re going to learn what it means to wholly be yourself, and you’ll learn that that’s enough. When you came to Penn freshman year, you were ready to make friends and say yes to literally anything and everything, with one big caveat – so long as everyone else was doing it too. But there is wisdom in saying “no” to things that, deep down, you know you won’t like. If you know you don’t like STEM, then why be “pre-med” just because that’s the career path everyone else is doing? Why apply to ten plus Wharton clubs you have no interest in just because everyone else is doing it?

You’re going to try and promptly fail at achieving these things because you have no actual interest in what you’re doing. I hope that’s a hard lesson learned. Do things you genuinely want to do and love. Even if you’re the only one out there dancing on the dance floor, do it because you want to. You only get one shot at this life and you’re the one who's going to live it, so who cares what others think!

Go after what you want, feet both in and not looking back. If it means switching your major to the humanities halfway through your time at Penn, do it without a second glance back instead of wasting time doubting your own academic abilities. If it means dropping all your clubs to focus on your mental health and to devote more time to serving your Church, don’t feel bad about your decision just because others might see it as a waste of time.

Find what makes you innately happy, recognize what you derive a sense of purpose from, and focus your time and energy on those things. I guarantee you it’s going to look a bit different from others. That’s okay, because to you, what you’re doing is worth it – that’s all you need.

You’re also going to meet some incredible people here, some of whom are going to be lifelong friends. They will stand by your side on days when it’s hard to take even the smallest of steps forward in life, and they’ll be sprinting by your side when you’re on top of the world.

Don’t ever, ever take these people for granted. The friendships you will forge here will undoubtedly be the greatest gifts you receive from Penn – not the education itself or the access to career opportunities. Treasure these people with care. Spend your limited time with them well, because college is the only time you will ever get to be living alongside all your friends, together in one place. Devote your energy to loving these people selflessly; they are going to be the best thing to happen to you during your four years here.

You’re also going to lose some friends along the way. That’s okay too. Don’t take it too harshly. People come into your life, but they will also go. Oftentimes, nobody is at fault. It’s the way of life, and you’ll learn, though painstakingly, how to let them go and keep moving on.

Just remember – all you can do is to continuously love those around you. When you love with the absolute fullness of yourself, you’ll find it’s the most worthwhile pursuit you could undertake while at Penn. You’ll make new friends (even as a Senior!) in lieu of old ones that have faded away, and you’ll see dying friendships revived once more. Love continuously, love selflessly, and love kindly. Be a fountain, not a drain, in how you treat others, and in doing so, you’ll find steadfast joy.

There’s a timeproof adage that people always throw around – “in a blink of an eye”. You know what it means, but you won’t fully know how that feels until your time at Penn is suddenly up. One minute you’re stepping into your Hill dorm room, nervous to see if this really can be your new home. Blink, and the next minute it’s your turn to put the cap and gown on as you close the door to this chapter of life. Time is fleeting, and I hope you can cherish every present moment in college and beyond, because we’re never guaranteed life’s next moment.

It’s your turn now to go on this incredible journey. Protect your values, hold fast to your purposes, and cherish the people around you.

Freshman year Lark – it’s about to be one hell of a ride, and I wouldn’t have changed it for the world.

With love,

Lark Y

Larkyan99@gmail.com

April 18, 2022

Dear Freshman Suki,

Stop telling the baristas your name is “SK”. It’s SUHK-MUH-Nee. Embrace correcting them until they say it properly, even if it takes them more than five tries. It’s their job to get it right before it is for them to make your drink correctly. Your name is so beautiful and powerful. It means peace of mind, and you can channel the inner nirvana if you take greater dominance and control of your life, even when it feels like it’s crippling into the void.

Relinquish the imposter syndrome; you earned your spot. You’ll watch your peers around you constantly making Instagram story worthy memories, while you drown in chemical equations in Van Pelt at 10 p.m. on Friday. You’ll continue to second guess whether going to dinner with a friend in the city was worth it before a midterm paper was due several hours later into the night. You’ll wonder if you’re even good enough to apply to the same volunteering club you got rejected from several semesters in a row. But no matter how many times you question whether you really deserve to be here, you’ll always wonder why you’re here. But the answer isn’t why or how. It’s what you do with the opportunity at this renowned institution to leave a lasting impact on not just your own life but others. Maybe you’ll do it in ways you never realized you would. Remember when you had no idea how to pick up a camera? Yeah, me too. Remember how nerve wracking it was to ask to take a stranger’s photos for the school’s newspaper? Drake summed it up well in Toronto.

Schedule time for loneliness. Your story will always be influenced by the friends who helped you survive some of the hardest years of your life. It’s ok to take a second to step back and acknowledge how far we have come in such a short amount of time. But it’s most important to learn how to live alone. It’s the time where you get to really learn your limits, your testaments, and your true self desires. Maybe you’ll pick up a new hobby like painting. Self care is critical for success. Do not overboard yourself with classes and work and projects. This is not how you should enjoy your time.

Be proud of yourself even when you fail. Remember they always say the simplest things in life bring the most joy. I don’t think there’s a wiser statement than that. You need to acknowledge how difficult this place can be. It gets super overwhelming fast. That’s ok. Success comes where failure leads. Your first photos were so horrible. Look at you now, featured in the most highly read journalism of all time. You’ll fail some friendships, outgrow others, and heal from toxic ones. You’ll even get the lowest grade on the exams and wonder if you even deserve to belong. You do. You can bounce back and fight for what you want. You're in the driver’s seat in your life. Steer the way you choose to go.

So next time you want to ask for a peppermint hot chocolate, remember that it’s worth way less than your precious name.

With much love,

Sukhmani

Dear Freshman Nam,

There will be times at Penn when you will feel like you are living in the fairytales you grew up watching. Your acceptance here was an absolute dream, and as Cinderella sang, “A dream is a wish your heart makes.” Like every fairytale arc, there will be challenges along the way – luckily, no evil queens or spells cast. But with the best set of characters and most magical moments, I’d say it’s been quite the tale you would have never imagined. Here are the lessons I’d tell you, the ones that come at the end of each chapter:

• My favorite candlestick, Lumière, from Beauty and the Beast will remind you of the value of stepping outside your comfort zone from the minute you step foot on campus: “You don’t have time to be timid. You must be bold, darling.” You’ll take that advice seriously on the first night of NSO, holding onto your now best friend and roommate’s hand as you walk into your first frat party (don’t worry, you won't be going to many more). You’ll struggle to raise your hand in class until you’re an upperclassman, regretting the semesters where you anticipated points off on your participation grade because you were afraid of being wrong or saying something silly. You’ll apply for way too many clubs that you didn’t get into on the first try, but you’ll pour your soul and seek leadership in the organizations that accept you, actually do impactful work, and end up becoming home. You’ll also explore so many cultures in Philly through cuisine and gain the inevitable Freshman 15 (and that’s okay).

• As Alice tells the Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland, “You’re entirely bonkers, but I’ll tell you a secret, all the best people are.” You’ll have the best time at Penn if you turn some of the conversations in Huntsman or on Locust into white noise. It may have seemed a bit crazy to declare your Urban Studies minor in your final year at Penn, but you finally love what you study and are challenged to think about the world around you differently. Think big, dream bigger, and explore the issues in Philadelphia that keep you up at night; engage in the community fieldwork outside of the Penn/Wharton bubble – you’ll learn and gain so much more here than in any classroom. And find time to do random things for yourself! You’ll love the time you put into making chocolate during Passion Projects your junior year and hip-hop class you took off campus senior year. You’ll learn you can’t do it all at any given moment, but each semester will be a new chapter with a new title to focus on.

• Listen to the wise Emperor in Mulan on the harder days: “The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all." During your first year, you’ll schedule so many back-to-back meetings and classes that your clumsy self will trip on Locust at least once a month. You’ll submit most assignments at 11:59 PM. Oh yes, procrastination won’t end with your high school self, but you’ll get everything done in due time. When you think you’re going through your mid-college crisis during your sophomore year and need to plan the rest of your life out at the young age of nineteen, remember that you don’t; you can always change the direction that your tale takes. I won’t tell you to avoid getting caught up in the pre-professional atmosphere, since you probably won’t listen and it’s really hard to ignore it all, but just remember to step back and look at the bigger picture. And never prioritize those things over your health and other people. You’ll likely laugh about what is stressing you out in 24 hours, 24 days, and most definitely in 24 months. Just take it day by day, and don’t be afraid to ask for help from both your mentors and mentees. You’ll learn something from each obstacle and each “no” that will lead you to open new doors that you did not see before and shape you into a stronger version of Nam who has a better idea of her interests. There are an infinite number of possible tales and an endless number of endings. And there is no use in comparing your story to someone else’s, so don’t forget to just stop and be proud of yourself.

• “Have courage and be kind.” Do you remember where that line is from, the iconic story you read and watched every rendition of? Cinderella, of course. This quote is a guiding light any time you feel any bit of imposter syndrome – like that time you may accidentally freeze in the middle of your first ECON010 quiz freshman fall because of the sheer panic of taking an assessment in a room as big as G06. You’ll put in so many more hours on your homework and receive the same grade or maybe lower than your classmates’ (which is fine, trying is not uncool!). At the end of the day, all of your peers are brilliant and accomplished. You’ll learn that there is nothing more important than being a good person that leads with compassion and empathy because that is what this campus and Penn students need more than anything. You’d rather be known for your character than your GPA or last case competition award. It’s the best feeling knowing you can be a role model for your younger friends. Hercules would concur: “A true hero isn't measured by the size of his strength, but by the strength of his heart." But a true hero also must be kind to herself – something you may only realize after constantly being sick every other month due to a lack of sleep.

• Peter Pan will remind you that it always works out: “All it takes is faith and trust and a little bit of pixie dust.” You ended up here because you deserved to and were meant to be here, so you’ll end up next where you are meant to be. Having faith will make you forget the feeling of being a small fish in a big pond; eventually, the pond will finally seem smaller, or you’ll finally feel like you’ve grown bigger. You just need to trust the process and listen to what your parents say every day on the phone, “God make sure everything happens for a reason.” And trust yourself. Be confident to make and own your decisions. The end outcome is both a combination of hard work and what’s meant to be, so after a certain point, just go to sleep.

• Now, I’ll end with my personal favorite. As Olaf shared in Frozen, “Some people are worth melting for.” The people you meet at Penn are worth the hour-long walks to Center City in the snow when you’re forced to find a Covid-safe way to hang out. They are worth the 2am walks back from Huntsman after you are kicked out because you are just so engrossed in debating Chicago vs. NY pizza or learning what makes them tick. They will find a way to turn your hardest rainy days into the sunniest because you remember who you have waiting for you when you return to your dorm. They will take such good care of you when you catch Covid that you won’t even catch homesickness. They’ll make you realize you have been an extravert – a thought it took you 21 years to realize – because you miss the energy they bring you when they are not around.

  Make spontaneous trips to New York or D.C., Hill Late Night, Jonas Brothers concerts, Insomnia Cookies, Van Pelt, the local bakeries on your Notion list, eyebrow threading salons, or Spruce Street Harbor Park together. Always be open to meeting new people and spend time investing in your friendships, for they will give far greater return than any academic or professional endeavor. You won’t find all these magical treasures right away, and they may even come where and when you least expect them to. These are the friends that turn into family – the friends that will make you feel like, for the first time in your life, you belong.

Who would have thought that the fairytales you read growing up will carry you through the next four years? Don’t be in a rush to grow up, and find time to embrace and learn from your inner child, rather than chasing and planning what comes next. You’ll have the rest of your life to do that and only four years to just be a Penn undergrad.

So you’re probably wondering, does this end in a “She lived happily ever after?” That story is still being written, but the people you meet here, the places you have the opportunities to visit once you are here, and the person you become are going to make you really, really happy.

To infinity and beyond,

Namrita N

Dear Freshman Yuyang,

I, Senior year you, am currently writing this letter days before our 22nd birthday, with less than a month until graduation. Being a Freshman already seems like a distant memory, but I do remember reading these letters in McClelland Lounge in Freshman year thinking that I would want to write one of these when I’m a Senior. Well, here I am.

I don’t remember exactly how you are currently feeling, but I would imagine it is some mixture of excitement, nervousness, homesickness, and hope, among other emotions. You’re probably trying your best to prepare yourself for these next four years at Penn but, respectfully, nothing is going to prepare you for this. And that’s completely okay.

Coming to Penn will be the biggest culture shock you’ll have experienced. Upon unpacking your many suitcases in Butcher 406 in the Quad, you’ll soon realize that 99% of your hallmates grew up in America and only a small fraction of them know where Manila is. You’ll be confused as to how you should introduce yourself – are you from the Philippines? From China? Or a Chinese kid who grew up in the Philippines? You’ll miss your friends back home because talking to them is just so much easier – when you don’t have to explain why you feel a certain way and they’ll just understand, because they are going through the exact same thing. But you’ll be okay. Soon enough, you’ll start enjoying your classes, going to Pottruck regularly, appreciating the sunsets on Locust, and meeting people that you could see yourself being friends with for the next four years. By the end of October, you’ll no longer leave your room in the morning with the hope of getting back as soon as possible, but instead, with a tinge of anticipation for what you’ll do or who you’ll meet during that day.

Of course, things won’t be that easy. By the end of Freshman Fall, you are convinced that every Econ major you meet wants to transfer to Wharton and every other CIS student you meet wants to do a dual-degree. Though you tell yourself that it’s not worth it, it’s difficult not to buy into when all of your closest friends are set on getting into Wharton. This will be your first taste of the pre-professional culture at Penn, one that you’ll try so hard to resist but eventually concede to in Sophomore year. By then, you’ll feel that all everyone cares about is recruiting and where they’ll be next summer. Sophomore Fall passes by in a blur and you are the most stressed you have ever been. You tell yourself that the day you get that internship offer, your life is going to be amazing. Except it feels like that day won’t ever come. This will be the lowest point in your college life – you’re stuck in a perpetual cycle of stress, you stop exercising and eating healthy, you lack the energy to socialize in groups, and you spend most of your time in your room dreading the uncertainty that lies ahead. This, looking back, was a time when you were not okay and you will wish you came to this realization sooner.

The day that you’ve been waiting for does eventually come though, in October of Junior year. You get an offer. Relief hits. But soon after, you ask yourself, now what? You’ve spent hours upon hours working towards this goal and now that you’ve achieved it, you’re surprised to find that…you’re not as happy as you thought you’d be? And it doesn’t solve all your problems? In hindsight, not the biggest shocker but, at the time, it hit quite hard. That’s okay though, because this is what led you to understand and realize what truly matters to you and what brings you joy. And this is what allowed you to make Senior year your best year at Penn.

Though Senior year may seem like eons away, you’ll get here faster than you think. And when you do get here, you’ll realize which memories are the ones that have made these past four years so special. It’s the karaoke nights where you can finally let loose with your friends singing songs from the early 2010s and the Uber rides back when everyone’s mumbling nonsense and laughing at the dumbest jokes. It’s the games of pool on random weekdays where you and your friends make banter and trash talk each other, despite all being quite incompetent at pool. It’s the late nights in Sophomore year when you and your roommates are finally all in the dorm at the same time and chill on the couch, talking about anything and everything that is on your minds. It’s the hikes in the Adirondacks or Yosemite or the Pinnacle, where you can forget all about Penn and just appreciate how lucky you are to be able to be immersed in nature while struggling endlessly to solve the riddles and minute mysteries that your friends have posed throughout the hike. It’s the board game nights at 2 AM where you swear on your life that playing one more game might permanently ruin some friendships, but you keep playing anyways. It’s those Wednesday evenings at Huntsman, when you’re wearing business formal and filming videos that you would never want the rest of the world to see.

These memories and stories are the ones that you’ll remember well after your college years. They are also the ones that you’ll miss the most as you sit down and reflect upon your Penn experience when you’re a Senior. And that’s okay. It’s okay because you are so, so, so grateful for them. Grateful for not just these memories, but also your friends who lived through them with you.

Your friends who will throw you a birthday surprise in Freshman year, your friends who will drop off care packages when they know you’re stressed, your friends who will check-in on you during COVID when you were alone back home in Beijing, your friends who will let you crash at their home for 2 weeks when you’re quarantining in Singapore, your friends who will be there to listen and who will teach you to be vulnerable. The list just goes on. These are absolutely incredible people that you are so lucky to have met and are so grateful for. Do not, ever, take these friendships for granted and, when you can, check in on them and let them know how much they mean to you.

Lastly, be grateful for your family. This time of your life will initially be exciting because it’s the first time that you will be living alone and so it might be easy to sometimes forget about them. Call home often. You won’t realize how much even hearing your voice will mean to Mom and Dad until you spend a year back at home because of the pandemic. And when you’re there, cherish that time because you don’t know when's the next time you’ll spend that much time with them. Don’t waste that year wishing to come back to Penn when, instead, you could be making memories with your family; when you come back to Penn, you’ll miss home like never before. In Senior Spring, it will hit you that your family won’t be coming to your graduation. Soon after, you’ll also have to accept that you probably can’t go back home before you start work in the Fall. But despite how gut-wrenching that makes you feel, you’ll be okay and it will only make the next time you see them so much more special.

To be completely honest, it feels so weird to be writing this letter because even as a Senior, I still find myself so clueless and empty-headed at times. But that’s okay. You’ll realize that everyone is like that. No one really knows what’s going on yet, but as long as you're willing to grow and learn along the way, you’ll be more than okay.

Have fun :)

Yuyang W

Dear Penn Freshman,

I hope when you read this you feel a sense of accomplishment. You have made it to one of the best places to learn in the world. You now have amazing resources at your fingertips! But remember, it’s ok to feel lost and feel overwhelmed. Take a breath and relax. Find your people. You’ll form a beautiful community of your own and you will have an amazing experience! And know that there is no correct path to where you want to be. Your journey is yours to enjoy and cherish. I write this with sincere love and hope that your time at Penn is nothing but full of love, happiness, and learning.

With Love,

A Graduating Penn Senior– AHHHH I FEEL OLD

Anonymous

Dear Freshman Tiff,

I don’t even know how to start this letter and describe your journey at Penn. You’ll learn so much about yourself and grow, but also experience the most challenging years and feel lost in a city that you thought you always knew. You’ll cry and feel lonely in your Quad single and question whether you belong here, but I want to reassure you that things take time and will get better. You’ll create new memories and meet people that make you laugh the hardest, and you’ll recognize the importance of your own happiness over a lofty list of accomplishments. There are a million things you could’ve done differently, but here are key pieces of advice I wish you knew beforehand

Take care of yourself. You’ll keep yourself occupied and run around campus to different classes and extracurriculars. There will be times when you eat dinner past midnight since you didn’t have a chance to do so earlier. You’ll be involved in a dozen activities that it’s difficult to juggle everything, and I regret not realizing how unhealthy this lifestyle was sooner. I wish you had learned to stop and take a deep breath, rather than overworking and stressing yourself out like this.

Be open to new things. A lot won’t go as planned, and nothing’s wrong with that. You’ll arrive at Penn with a “set” plan for your career and what you want to do after graduation. I wish you hadn’t felt like you needed to rush things and have everything figured out. Although you never imagined taking time off from school, you now plan to take at least one gap year before attending a graduate program. By learning to be more flexible, you’ll discover new interests and possibilities that you wouldn’t have considered before.

Enjoy the moment. You’re used to just getting through the days and hoping everything will be okay. Every semester will fly by before you know it, and you often won’t value the moment until it’s too late. However, you’ll learn the importance of happiness and being surrounded by people who make you happy. Make active strides for happiness and spend time with those you care about, rather than overthinking and finding excuses to skip things. And remember to have fun!

Reach out if you need help. Don’t wait until your senior year to finally prioritize your mental health. You’ll put it off for so long that you’ll experience the impact during your final semester. Regarding your classes and post-graduate plans, don’t be afraid to ask questions and meet your professors and mentors for advice. They’ll teach you so much that you wouldn’t have figured out on your own.

Don’t be afraid of rejection. You will submit applications for countless clubs, labs, and jobs, and you’ll often take rejection to heart. However, you wouldn’t have known the outcome unless you tried, and you’re being redirected to something even better. You’re so much more than your failures and exams you didn’t perform well on. Remember to celebrate your small accomplishments too, as they are important reminders of your progress and hard work.

Embrace your identity. Don’t hide away from your racial identity or be ashamed of who you are. You’ll initially avoid relevant extracurriculars, but you’ll find that these groups allow you to grow, reflect, and become proud of your Asian American identity. You’ll have many discussions on your experiences and position in America, and regret not being more involved in these programs and opportunities sooner.

These are all easier said than done, and I’ll be the first to admit that Penn was hard to navigate. You’ll have high and low points, and both good and bad days. You’ll make friends in the most random ways, and you don’t need to have everything figured out as a freshman. In fact, many of the memories you cherish and extracurriculars you find meaningful will happen after your first year. You’ll realize why things happened the way they did, and oftentimes for the better. Don’t lose hope, and remember to be kind to yourself along the way.

With love,

Tiffany T.

Dear Freshman Brennan,

Let me start by saying this: you’re a good kid. You really are. Sure, you have your faults like everyone else (the world doesn’t actually owe you anything my man), but that’s okay. You’re no better than anyone else, and you’ll realize that fairly quickly. When you left your home in South Florida, you had never even seen snow before. How were you supposed to take on the world right off the bat when you had never even seen snow before?

Ya gotta give yourself a break man. Yeah, everyone wants something from you, but don’t pretend like you don’t want anything from anyone else. Your need for connection is definitely understandable, because you can’t really connect with yourself in the first place. You don’t even like you yet. You left home with one thing on your mind: “don’t fail,” when you should have been thinking, “succeed.” You don’t get the difference between those two things yet, but that will come eventually.

I write this letter to you honestly and without shame. I can tell you right now that you’ll succeed. You’re going to get your JD and MBA! Bet you didn’t think you were gonna do that at first, huh. You’re still the punk you’ve always been, and you still give your middle finger to the “establishment”, even if you can’t define it when asked. Just in a different way now. You found love, friends, and people who really love you for you. You didn’t need an Ivy League school for that to happen, and you didn’t need it for validation of yourself. Don’t ever forget that. You are Brennan that went to Penn, not the Penn Student named Brennan. Stop running away. You’re not too good for anything.

I’m proud of you. We all are: Mom, Vannah, and Bill will be there cheering you on when you graduate. You actually did what no one thought you would do, including you. But you’re just getting started. This is just the first step of a Long and Winding Road, as your favorite musician Paul McCartney would say, so be sure not to lose yourself along the way. This letter is far from one of regret, even if we’ve made our… fair share of mistakes. Instead, it’s one of gratitude and kindness. Love yourself so that you’re ready to love other people.

I know most people might write a letter to themselves to ask them to do something different, but to be honest, I wouldn’t change a damn thing about you. We soared together, learned together, but most importantly, we struggled together. I wouldn’t take a minute of that back.

So, good luck to you man. You’re gonna do just fine, and let yourself be your own hero. God knows you’re mine.

With Love,

B. Rose

Current Penn Freshmen: Reach out to me at your own risk I guess brennanrose18@gmail.com

Dear Penn Freshmen,

Congrats on your acceptance to Penn! If you were like me, Penn was like a dream come true, but like any dream, the reality will hit soon. As a jaded senior, here are a few lessons I learned along the way.

1. Find a hobby, or anything you enjoy doing for yourself. Growing up, I did all my outside of school activities for a purpose rather than for enjoyment. When I finally arrived at Penn, I realized that I didn’t know what I actually liked to do. There is no need to take on “impressive” extracurriculars in college so take your time to try new things, whether it be a new sport, reading, knitting, singing, etc… Having a hobby will be even more valuable when you graduate and embark on adult life.

2. Friend “groups” are rare at Penn. I came into college fantasizing about having a friend group that did everything together. As a result, I regret not cherishing my individual friendships more. The majority of people I talk to have “one off” friendships, and the people who do have “groups” often admit that they are not actually as close as they seem.

3. You don’t have to be best friends with your roommate. Honestly, I would prioritize finding somebody that you have compatible living styles with and you will be much happier on an everyday basis when you have small comforts like the thermostat being set to a good temperature and not being woken up by an alarm at 6am.

4. There is no shame in changing your major, or dropping Pre-Med, or “selling out.” I was never Pre-Med, but a lot of my friends felt so much shame from their parents and peers about dropping Pre-Med and being labeled as a “sell out.” Finding a job instead of going to med school is a very financially reasonable option: tuition adds up, and nobody should be ashamed of changing their mind at 19. It is also never “too late” to change your mind about your career—don’t let sunk costs affect your decisions. You'd rather make the change now than 10 years down the line.

5. And if Penn isn’t for you, just file that transfer application. It’s nice to have optionality. And you will feel even more empowered if you ultimately had a way out but chose to stay. Just make sure you get those professor recs ahead of time.

And finally some words I like to live by,

FOMO only applies if you don’t love what you’re currently doing.

Do things for yourself, not for others, because very few people in your life now will still be in your life 20-30 years down the line.

Change is scary, but remaining stagnant is even scarier.

Best of luck,

Serena

serenaz@sas.upenn.edu

Dear Penn Freshmen,

Congratulations on getting that acceptance letter from Penn! Soon you’ll be walking down Locust Walk, spending lots of time in Van Pelt, and rushing to club meetings in Huntsman. While you’re doing that though, I hope you remember some words of wisdom from a graduating senior:

1. There will be a lot of pressure from people to do things you might not necessarily want to do or pursue careers you might not necessarily be interested in. Coming from personal experience, it’s really hard to tune out those voices, especially when they’re from people you love and respect. But trust me, if you do what you’re really passionate about, things will work out.

2. Friends come and go, but real friends are worth their weight in gold. At Penn, you’ll meet tons of cool, smart, interesting people. You’ll also meet people that are quite frankly, straight-up awful. Don’t let your experiences with the latter influence your interactions with the former. And if you ever have any doubts, just remember, people want to like you, and they probably want you to like them back too!

3. While it might seem like getting rejected by a club or not getting an internship is the end of the world, it isn’t. I know that in the heat of the moment it’s hard to think of or feel anything but disappointment and sadness, but in the long-term, these things don’t really matter. You’ll face tons of rejection during your time at Penn, and each rejection is a learning opportunity. If you choose to learn, you’ll be happier, healthier, and more fulfilled.

4. Never stop meeting new people! After your freshman and sophomore years, it will be easy to keep on seeing and hanging out with people you’ve already met. But the greatest adventures you have are the ones that you don’t even know about yet. Be spontaneous. Take trips to Las Vegas. Go bike around Philly at 2AM in the morning. Hit up friends you haven’t talked to in a while. You’ll be much better for it.

Your four years (or more) at Penn will zoom by in a flash. But as you’re taking classes, starting clubs, and recruiting for whatever it is you want to do after college, don’t be afraid to have fun, smile widely, and stop and smell the roses. Life goes fast, but the moments we remember are the ones that last a lifetime. You guys are going to kill it!

Sincerely,

Michael

mhua0120@gmail.com

Dear Freshman Sravya,

Congratulations on Penn! You’ve worked really hard for this, and I’m so insanely excited for what you think will be 4 (which will eventually be 5) years in college. I’ll walk you through some of your time here. It’ll be exciting, daunting, hopeful, empty, lively, and everything in between. Throughout all of it, trust me. Trust yourself.

On your first day of college in Huntsman Hall as you’re attempting to find G06, you run into an upperclassman from high school. She’s dressed head to toe in business formal with a frazzled and worried look on her face. As she jogs past you with a half attached name tag on her blazer, all she says is: “Enjoy it while you can. It’s gonna be hell.”

You immediately become scared. This is not a good sign to start off supposedly the best 4 years of your life. You’ll think you have so much to look forward to, but it now seems like stress, frustration, and discontent are bound to be in your future. You don’t like impending doom. You feel like you need to make the most of every second.

ONE

During your freshman year, you will. Every day, there will always be something new - new people to meet, new things to learn, new experiences to have. You’re gonna run on 5 hours of sleep, spread yourself out too thin, go from class to club meetings to dance practice to 3 AM Peerlift calls. Even though you’ll have a lot on your plate, you’ll love it. You love the spontaneity, intentionality, and freedom that college offers. All your best friends live a few feet away from you, and not a second will be wasted. You’ll make the most of it, and for that, I’m so proud of you.

TWO

You’ll start out college on a huge high. You’ll soon realize that it doesn’t last. Sophomore year in high school was your worst year, and unfortunately, in college, the trend is the same. You’re gonna feel lost. The natural whims of the day turn into mundane routines. Your fiery excitement for your daily activities slowly burns you out. Maybe this is the impending doom that you were inevitably going to feel. Let me assure you: this is all okay. You’re not alone in feeling this way, and these experiences are vital and necessary. This is what makes you grow, reflect, and resurge. Trust me.

THREE

Junior year — you’re back. You again feel the same freedom and lightness from freshman year. You’ll move into your future apartment with your two best friends, and you’re going to cherish this time forever. From attempting to drunk build the couch to sleepovers in each other’s rooms to stir fry Bachelor nights to coding together while watching rom-coms (an interesting combination yes), you’ll love every second of it. These are your people — your maids of honor and aunts to your future children.

FOUR

Quarantine will separate you from them. It will be hard, but you have a strong enough bond that you’ll stay connected. During this time, you’re going to make one of the most spontaneous yet best decisions of your life. On a random July morning, you’re going to sign a leave of absence from Penn. The day before, you were planning out your classes for the fall. This is a decision truly driven by gut and heart, and you’ll never look back. In this gap year, you’ll spontaneously decide to take a 2 week road trip, build the foundation for the flagship product for Lumos, travel to 10 states, play hours of spikeball everyday, and strengthen friendships that will last a lifetime. It’ll truly be special.

FIVE

During the gap year, it’s gonna be all rosy - landing your dream internship, not worrying about school, spending endless time with friends. Next year, it’s not gonna be all rainbows. The impending doom is inevitable. You’re going to find yourself feeling very lonely, empty, and lost. It’s not easy to be away from all your closest friends and feel nostalgic of all the memories that you had over the past 4 years. You’ll feel that the campus you’ve known doesn’t belong to you anymore and that you’re an imposter and outsider selfishly trying to take back what was once yours. You’ll fear that this emptiness and longing will overshadow your past college memories, staining the liveliness of the past. But over the past five years, you’ve turned into someone who recognizes the ugly yet finds the beauty to make the most of every experience. Without this year, you wouldn’t have had the chance to relive some of your best memories of college and transform friendships into family and family into friendships.

As you know now, Penn is not going to be easy, but your optimism and ambition will guide you. There will be a lot to look forward to and a lot to not look forward to. You’ll go through 8 grueling recruiting cycles, role playing as a future investment banker, consultant, marketer, data scientist, startup analyst, software engineer, and product manager, but that will eventually lead to your dream job. You’re going to cry over schoolwork and question your academic path, but you did it. You’re graduating with 2 degrees. You’ll realize that some friendships are fleeting, leaving you broken, empty, and forever changed. It’ll take a year for you to feel whole again, but you will be fine. Trust me. Trust yourself.

College can be both heaven and hell, and this is a good thing. You will live in the high and learn in the low. Awareness, perseverance, and reflection will take you far. So, let the impending doom come. I know you’ll take it in stride.

Cheers to the next 5,

Sravya A