Dear Penn Freshmen,

Dear Incoming Freshman M,

In true “me” fashion, I waited until the last minute to write this letter to you (I had a good reason for it though, I promise). It feels weird, you know, since usually it's always me writing a letter to an older version of myself, hoping that she’s gotten more effortlessly cooler and wiser over the time skip. But I’m starting to realize that the fantasy that being older translates to having a better grasp on things isn’t necessarily true. People just get better at pretending ;)

First and foremost, I know exactly what question you’ll be asking me - and if I don’t put it here you’ll be scanning the entire letter trying to find that section before you even read the rest of my ode to you. So I’m here to be the bearer of bad news and tell you that you did not experience a hoe phase during your time here. Wipe your tears and pick yourself back up! I know it's not the news you wanted to hear, but that isn’t a reflection on you/your appearance or the people around you (and to be completely honest, please hear me out when I say you are all the better off for it). Without spoiling too much, that’s just how the cookie happened to crumble. And yes, this is actually the least important part of the letter, so please keep reading.

Secondly, I would like to take the time to thank and congratulate you for making it through high school. Knowing me, we probably didn’t take enough time to understand the momentousness of the situation at the moment. After all, it’s hard to put that level of hard work and achievement into perspective - especially when you’re surrounded by peers who take their educational access for granted. Seriously, pat yourself on the back and take a second to bask in it, especially since the road did not get easier once you stepped foot on this campus.

I spent a lot of time trying to encapsulate and translate what the experience of these past four years have been like to someone who literally has no idea what is coming for them. Honestly, even from the first year of college, the world as you know it to be will have been forever changed. It was originally daunting, but it gives you the opportunity to pause and understand where you are in relation to the world and what your values are. In fact, I would argue that every year at Penn has its own big character development arc for you, with adventures, surprises, uncertainty, excitement, somberness, and realizations. And to be honest, you’ll never really get the hang of things - but by the end you’ll realize that that’s okay too. Part of me selfishly wishes I could give you a rundown on the things that have happened in order to create a happier story, but I owe it to you to learn those lessons first hand so that you can come out of it wiser.

So, while I cannot tell you exactly what happens, I can tell you what I have since learned which could maybe have been of assistance had I known it as a freshman. Thus, in true “us” fashion, I have come up with a list of 10 pieces of advice that will make your life easier sooner (seriously, trust me).

You know more than you think you do. To this day (aka as a senior), you’re going to be in classes where you look around and scratch your head, wondering just how you managed to qualify for the class. You’re going to be at internships where you look at the people around you and wonder if the saying “there are no stupid questions” was specifically meant to spite you. However, you should never wait until you’re 100% sure of an answer to raise your hand, or even ask clarifying questions. After all, you don’t even know what you know.

Instead of asking yourself “why?” ask yourself “why not?” For whatever reason, you’re going to have a series of opportunities that randomly present themselves to you. Though it may look like it’s not the best time to decide to take them on

Do not wait until you are in a crisis to get help. This is one of those not-so-fun lessons you learn in life, when waiting until you have no other possible solutions comes to bite you in the ass. Trust me, it is better to let people know in advance that you may need their help later on (and end up not needing it at all) than to not tell anyone and have them find out that you’ve been drowning for a solid few months. It is not a fun conversation to have, and plus everyone has their own stuff going on.

There’s an unofficially official way to do Penn, and there’s the way you’ll end up doing Penn. Both have their merits. I feel like there’s not much to say on this, but it’s probably a good idea to clarify. There’s advice that is passed down from upper- to under-classmen that could be really useful to heed (whether that be in the classroom, in recruiting, or socially) - such as wait until your senior year to take ACCT 1020. And then, there’s unspoken ways of life and traditions that people follow without question, to the point where revealing otherwise will have people looking at you funny. I implore you to make decisions with yourself in mind, understanding which pieces of advice make sense to follow and which ones seem less feasible within the context of your life. Which leads me to my next point…

You know your life better than anyone else. If there’s any realization you’ll have over these four years, it's the fact that people can only understand your life in the context of their own. Read that sentence again. Whether that be in terms of getting advice on your touch-and-go love life (“I mean he bought me lunch right? That has to mean something” / “I wouldn’t read too much into it if I were you”), or trying to figure out the logistics of some big decision that most people would not make (“You’re going abroad senior fall? To WHERE? Why?”), you will waste a lot of time trying to get input from people who do not have the same context or aspirations as you do. This is not to say that you should discount all advice that you receive over the course of your time here, but it would definitely be helpful to remember that not all advice is given with your best intentions in mind.

Shoot your shot! Closed mouths don’t get fed. Yeah this one may or may not be related to the whole feelings showbiz, but whatever. I know it sounds crazy, but hear me out. Instead of wasting time, energy, and resources that could be better put towards literally anything else - you can just say how you feel when you realize what you’re feeling. The whole “it takes me 3-5 business days to actually be aware of how a situation made me feel” is not something that everyone will understand, but if they respect and care about you as a friend - it won’t matter anyways. Plus, you can go to sleep more peacefully at night knowing you got things off your chest. I can’t promise it leads to more happy endings, but it will definitely prevent more sad outcomes from happening. (And if you do have to have a down bad moment, it’ll end sooner).

You don’t have to take time out of your day to be kind. I’m going to put this into perspective. You are where you are in life right now due to a series of unanticipated acts of kindness that have blessed you in ways that the original person could have never even imagined their act being received. So whether that means stopping to give directions to someone who is obviously lost, buying a meal for someone who looks like they could really use it, or having a conversation with someone who looks a bit down; you never know how something that took less than a minute to decide could make or break a person’s day. Kindness is where we unlock the magic that is the beauty of life and humanity.

Cherish your friends - and maybe cut down on the fluff. The term “friend” is something that will get re-defined and refined over the next 4 years as your priorities change. Somewhere along the line, you will trade the quantity of your friends for quality - the bittersweet result of learning that it is very hard to have and maintain friendships when you are spread thin across so many people. There are some friends in your life that will not be there to walk across the stage with you in May, so make sure to hug each and every one of your closest friends really tight. It’s really hard not to take people for granted at Penn because you can run into them every day, but that mindset is what makes these types of losses all the more devastating.

You don’t have to be everything, everywhere, all at once. Please Rest. As a thought experiment, go around to 10 acquaintances at Penn and ask them what their week/weekend plans look like. Then ask them what things they actually have to go to. Notice how we tend to place this unofficial form of obligation upon ourselves to be everywhere and do everything, even when we are not at our best and most enthusiastic. I promise you, things are so much more fun to attend when you actually want to be there (and there will always be another event or invitation somewhere down the line)!

Remember that there’s a younger version of you who thinks you’re really fucking cool. I can only speak for myself here, but I think you’ll be pretty content at where I am now in life (even if I don’t quite have everything perfectly planned and figured out). I can also say the same for 9th grade me meeting you after graduation. So when you don’t do as great as you thought on that test, or get rejected by that stupid club or company, just remember that there’s a younger you out there who would be in awe to even meet you.

At the end of it all, I don’t quite know what to say to be honest. This is the end of a crazy ten year stretch that has had so many trials, tribulations and transgressions, and I want to thank you for doing what you needed to do to get me here. None of it was easy, and it definitely does not get (and has not gotten) easier - but at the end of the day we have gotten farther than we could have ever possibly imagined. So thank you. Thank you for all those crazy all nighters you pulled when you were 12 balancing two schools at once. Thank you for not giving up the first time, and applying to every single form of a “good” high school you could so you could weigh all the options for success. Thank you for ignoring your college counselor who wanted you to play it safe and get a full ride to John Hopkins - dude seriously, what would you even be doing there - and taking the chance anyways. Thank you for reapplying to financial aid as many times as you needed to to be able to attend here. Thank you for living in a different country not once, but twice, just because you’ve always wanted to and you didn’t know when you’d ever be able to again. Thank you for believing in me when it seemed like no one else was and making the impossible seem that much more believable. Because of you, I am who I am now.

And this story (and letter) may not make sense to everyone who is reading it, but it makes sense to us and for once, that’s all that matters. The minute you stop trying to neatly fit yourself into these conventional and digestible boxes is the minute you’ll see yourself in entirety for who you really are and all the life experiences that have made you you - and you’ll love yourself all the more for it.

With all the love I regret not giving myself sooner,

M

P.S. try not to get too jaded out there. There’s still so much to be in awe of

Dear Freshman Angela,

First of all, you made it. You should be nothing but proud of yourself. 2019 was such a wonderful year to start Penn. There was no pandemic (just wait for it…), there was no fear, and there was no anxiety. One of the biggest lessons you will learn at Penn is that although failures are inevitable, they do not define you, and do not let anyone influence what your experience at Penn should be. Write your own story.

Your relationship with Penn wasn’t always the most smooth sailing thing ever. You went through heartbreaks with friends, struggles with the major you switched out, and also many, many rejections that seemed to have been the end of the world at the moment. You might have cried during pre-med advising, and your heart might have dropped when those internships rejected you, but you would never forget that you always stood strong, and you had the privilege of meeting some of the lifelong best friends which some of them won’t enter your life until your junior year at Penn.

You started off your freshman year with a strong cohort of 1 Green hallmates, and they stuck with you for four whole years, especially your roommate. Although your first spring and summer were a little unusual, you got to spend extra time with family and friends at home. Coming back to Penn during sophomore year was very difficult, and I want you to know that sometimes it’s ok to trip and fall. But more importantly, get back up and come back stronger. Believe it or not, you will have a group of people who will always make fun of your height, who will always sing karaoke with you till your voice is gone, but most importantly, who will always have your back. I know you had a lot of doubts about your career and where to go after graduation. That anxiety came at you intensely during the end of your junior year and almost the entirety of your senior year. Do what you need to do, attend therapy, take care of yourself, and don’t be afraid to cry. Many of the failures you will face are just leading to where you will belong.

Oh one more thing, recognize these names…AIS…PEER…Sigma…Sphinx…One day you will see how much these few names have changed your life. You might feel like sand in a desert now, but soon you will find your purpose and make a legacy you never knew you would.

Lastly, I wanted to say thank you for being Angela. It is difficult to stay true to yourself in a college environment, especially when there are judgmental people who might not deserve you. You have such an adventurous 4 years ahead of you and don’t you dare to give up on yourself. And continue to live this quote that got you through senior year – If you can remember why you started, then you will know why you must continue. 勿忘初衷！

Yours truly,

Angela L.

Dear Freshman Joyce,

Because I know you’re filling your schedule to the brim, let me make this skim-able. Amidst the choice overload and excitement of all that Penn has to offer, here are some questions to reflect upon:

What makes you happy?

Go to that frat party during NSO… where you’ll realize that it’s not your thing. Penn may be a “party school” but remember we’re so fortunate to be able to choose how to spend our time. Find what you enjoy and be confident in it, whether it’s partying, dancing, playing cards, jamming, watching movies, cooking, you name it. (This applies to your career too - lean into what interests you!)

Do you really have the capacity to take it on?

As a maximizer and people pleaser, I know it’s tempting to try everything under the sun and say yes to everyone. But realize the importance of boundaries, because no one is going to set them for you. Feel comfortable saying “no,” even to exciting opportunities, if you’re becoming overcommitted or overwhelmed.

Have you been sleeping enough, eating healthy, and working out?

Speaking of boundaries… This looks different for everyone, but if you’re not feeling well, you can start by asking yourself these questions. It’s tempting to cut sleep when there’s work and social events to go to, but when freshman plague hits, you’re going to regret sacrificing your personal health. Penn and Philly have so much to offer, but make sure to prioritize your health. You can’t have as much fun when you’re sick or tired.

Are you idolizing friendships?

I’m sad to share that friendships will be a struggle for you not just freshman fall, but many other semesters. But I’m happy to share that you’ll learn to appreciate the people in your life. You’ll realize that you can have friends for different reasons and seasons and that sometimes, you won’t realize how close you’ve gotten until later. You’ll realize the importance of fighting for friendships (like being confrontational) even when it’s hard, but also the importance of letting go of certain friendships. You’ll realize that you need community, but it may not be the friends and people you expect.

Have you called your family?

While family may look different for everyone, in college, especially during tough seasons, you’ll be reminded of the immense blessing of family and the importance of calling home even when you feel too tired or busy. When you’re feeling unlovable, your family will remind you otherwise.

Is this a tougher season? It will be okay…

I wish I could give you a hug during the tougher seasons that you’ll go through. Junior fall, you’ll feel so alone and unworthy at times. But through the grace of God, junior spring will be your best semester yet. Remember that so much can change in a semester or a few months. Push through the hard semesters and remember for the most part, everything is temporary. It will be okay. And don’t be afraid to reach out for help. You’re stronger than you think.

Are you chasing after perfection?

Embrace imperfection. Nothing in life will be perfect and life is messy. The sooner you can embrace that, the better. And remember the stressful things, like housing, figuring out roommates, exams, etc. will pass. Try to enjoy this beautiful, imperfect life. Fight for joy. You are worth it. And God can redeem any situation for His good.

With love,

Joyce Guo

joyceguolex@gmail.com

P.S., some other last minute advice:

Don’t take the 8:30 AM class freshman year — waking up is much harder in college than in high school.

Do the love run half-marathon with friends. Training for it and running it will be a highlight of your college experience and a testament to God’s strength.

Use the extension. You’re going to be scared to use any safety nets until later in college when you hit rock bottom. But Professors provide safety nets for a reason and it’s okay to use the extension or skip doing a homework assignment that you don’t need to complete.

Grab a small cart at Trader Joe’s (TJs). TJs will become one of your favorite Philly establishments, but make sure to grab a small cart or else you’ll buy way too much. :)

Lean into communities and classes you feel drawn to. You’ll make so many friends from Wharton Women and will grow to love your ASAM and AFRC classes, wishing you took them earlier.

Learn to cook.

Go to the doggy park by the Schyulkill Trail. Watching or playing with the puppies is a wonderful destressor and a reminder of the simple joys in life.

Dear 18-year old me,

When you opened your Penn letter and realized you got into a certain program, you had two thoughts: (1) Yes, I got into the program of my dreams and (2) this is about to be the hardest four years of my life.

This is me, your older, tired, hunched over a Windows computer (the shock!) self, telling you - your hunch about that 2nd thought was indeed correct.

But, let’s back up a bit. You’re about to enter a roller-coaster, one that will bring you to some fleeting highs, mostly horridly stomach-churning lows, and ultimately, you’ll be back to where you were at the beginning of this roller coaster- worried about the future. But, since you are eagerly waiting to board this roller-coaster, here’s some stuff to prepare you. I’m not going to spoil the surprises (or else, well then me in the future wouldn’t exist), but instead provide you with 3 directional guides and tools that will be your north star as you consider your path - learned with battle scars.

The Rollercoaster Ride Isn’t Everything

In other words, F*ck Penn.

There I said it. You will end up screaming this at the top of your lungs in Cira Green in 35F on the day of your last final on Freshman year. You will scream it at the top of the lungs when the University messes up your graduation documentation. You will scream it at the top of the lungs whenever Add/Drop starts. You will say it a lot. That’s fine. But there’s actually a deeper message here. This university will attempt to guide you to a different north star called prestige and money. You will attempt to try investment banking recruiting even though the interview process will make you realize it’s not right for you. You will have people who you think are allies but then backstab you, thinking you don’t realize. The point is, you are gonna dislike this University where you will realize you actually went to the wrong University when talking to your friends. Yet, you still did get quite a fair bit out of it.

People think of Penn like a GPS. You should think of Penn like a pair of old running shoes. Penn will guide you there, but you need to dictate your journey. And, it’s not much help compared to the bare ground - you look forward to when you can take them off.

How do you deal with this? One tool: Introspection. Two Flavors: Seeing the Forest and Goals. First off, always every once in a while take a step back from Penn. Inventory what you’re thinking. What you’ll find is that often what you are thinking is myopic in nature - influenced by Penn’s suffocating environment beleaguered with Penn Face. Instead, remember the long term picture, and why you are here. Second, always ensure you are achieving your goals, even if your goals change over time. But make sure you aren’t doing anything that isn’t achieving what you set out to do (trust me, this is hard given the “3 Penn Pressures”: Drink and Party Hard, Sell Out to IB/Consulting/Tech, and Pretend Everything is Fine)

Will Smith said it best: “Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like.”

Remember, Penn does not define you. You define yourself.

Preparing for the Rollercoaster Isn’t Enough

In other words, Have a Plan, But Don’t Stick to It

You came into this thinking that you will have your four year plan all set out. You think you know the roller coaster ride from seeing the reviews and the YouTube videos. You don’t. Those shameless “Day in the life” vlogs? Yeah, they’re not quite right. Also, they’re pretty obnoxious too - avoid those attention-grabbing people at Penn, they’re the worst.

You’ll enter Penn with a spreadsheet of multiple different 4-year class plans. But, you’ll realize that none of those paths actually manifest. You will change your major multiple times, you will consider adding another degree, and you will most importantly, change your career trajectory multiple times. That’s fine.

You need to be prepared for the unknown. In fact, the only thing you truly learned from Penn was how to deal with uncertainty and setbacks. In Freshman year, you will face medical issues. In Sophomore Year, you will deal with a worldwide once-in a century event (that ironically, you correctly predicted in high school). In Junior Year, you will learn how to accept you for who you uniquely are. And in Senior Year, you will learn how to begin how to juggle multiple competing interests that span your entire life both at Penn and outside.

As a result, I’ll leave you with a tool that you learned over time: Themes. Instead of thinking you must have one specific and focused task, ensure you are aligned with the theme you are currently working towards. As your favorite YouTuber (who taught you this) said, “Having a theme is like creating a friendly bot to follow you on the path, to help notice branches, and consider choices with you”. The fog of the future for every semester will feel dense, so you will need to be willing to make decisions based on limited evidence, and more importantly, be flexible.

Remember to Look Up - It Helps with the Motion Sickness

In other words, Don’t Skip on Philly.

Your freshly minted Penn-specific admissions essay ended with: “Penn is where I want to be, a place to call home.” You’ll find that instead of finding Penn your home, it ended up being the concentration of your stress. In fact, you end up getting anxiety attacks every time you pass the “Welcome to University City” bridge after flying into EWR or PHL.

Penn is a bubble. That bubble is great when you’re walking home from Huntsman at 2 AM, grabbing Wawa on the way back with your friend or alone. However, any bubble that keeps the bad things out (like crime), festers the things inside. The problem is that Penn’s environment to you is pretty toxic, so it starts to suffocate you.

Leave the bubble. The first time you will take the SEPTA, you will be scared sh*tless. That’s fine. You will eventually come to embrace SEPTA, and take SEPTA almost 3 times a week.

Your parents were very scared Philadelphia was unsafe. That’s true, only because they didn’t live here and know what to look out for. If you walk confidently, be street smart, you’ll be fine.

You’ll soon grab Pho (sometimes at 10 PM at night!), chowing down on Chicken Rice, looking eagerly at a chicken wing skewer roasting on an open fire, buying perfectly thinly sliced fresh smoked salmon, and pillowy soft milk bun fried chicken sandwiches. Eventually, you’ll start studying outside of Penn, your favorite being the sandwich club. (I’ll leave it to you to find these places yourself, it’s part of the fun!)

More importantly, you’ll realize your most memorable moments are not Penn, but what is outside of Penn.

The tool for this? The power to say No (and the excuse of the calendar). Protect your time to protect your own sanity. Carve out time for yourself, and use it to your greatest advantage. This will allow you to have all sorts of adventures, from cherry blossoms, skiing, being in a live studio audience to listening to your favorite orchestral piece.

Your GPA isn’t everything. Seek the unknown and risks, since this is one of the last few moments where you get to carve your time, rather than your employer.

Lastly, You Can Do This.

If there is one last thing, remember this: You have achieved so much. You are about to achieve so much. No matter what, even if the outcome is not worth the journey, you have developed yourself. You can do this. I mean hey, I survived!

And with this, good luck. I’ll see you when you disembark - I’ll have a sickness bag ready for you.

-ANONYMOUS

Hey. I’m writing this letter the day it’s due, which is an apt way to begin a reflection on my Penn career. In so many ways, there’s never enough time.

This letter is difficult for me to write because I am so jealous of you. You are right at the beginning: you can use every resource, take every class, join any circle. There is nothing written in stone for you yet. You are the Wanderer above the Sea of Fog, and that vast unknown is inviting you to scribble your intentions all over it and jump in.

As for me, I have failed to take advantage of all the resources I could have. I have missed out on classes that I know I would have loved. I have made the right friends too late, and the wrong friends too early. There’s a way you can spin this where I made every call wrong. When you’re where I am, it’s possible—likely, actually—that you’ll feel the same way. Regretful. Curious about what could’ve been different. It’s a little sad—or it would be, perhaps, if there were any alternative way things could have gone. But there isn’t.

You, too, will feel regrets. If not mine, then regrets of your own. Maybe you will regret not joining a club, not going to office hours enough, not making a relationship work when you knew it had potential. Maybe you’ll regret not taking enough time for yourself, or not spending more time with others, or any combination of what-ifs and could-have-beens. And yes, you will regret the things you haven’t done infinitely more than things you have done—I do not lament wearing a green catsuit to a frat party, going to bed at six in the morning after playing an indie video game start to finish with my friends, or choosing to work for shit pay at a coffee shop instead of taking a more intellectual job that put a better price tag on the worth of my time. But I am kept awake at night only by everything I didn’t get to try.

So try stuff. Lots of stuff. And if you don’t like it, stop doing it. Angela Duckworth spoke at commencement last year about a single-celled organism called a paramecium. All they know how to do is move toward the things that are warm and provide nourishment, and away from the things that don’t. And that’s all any of us should be doing. What’s more, it’s all I’ve had the mental capacity for here. Don’t underestimate how thin you’ll be stretched—Penn is a place that runs on the 200 cc Mario Kart setting. Everything is too fast and too intense and too ‘all the time’. Don’t expect to keep up—just steer gently toward the activities, people, and things you enjoy, and away from what you don’t.

Don’t get me wrong, you won’t avoid feeling regretful when it’s over. You still will. But put yourself in a position to try enough things, and meet enough people, and feel enough excitement, that by the end of four years your ‘happy it happened’ list is at least as long as your ‘what if it had’ list.

Be kind to everyone. Appreciate people who are kind to you. Apologize when you are wrong. Enjoy it fully—be ready to miss it painfully.

Layla M

Dear freshman me,

Almost four years later, I see you still so clearly, flushed from the effort of carrying your luggages four flights up the Quad. Standing in your musty, bare room, you picture all the trinkets and souvenirs that would accumulate on the shelves for the next few months.

And I know this has been the moment you’ve been waiting for. The moment 18 years of living has built toward. For an international student like you, being able to attend college – an Ivy no less – 8000 miles away from home, is a dream come true. It’s nothing short of the American dream you’ve looked towards, the light at the end of the tunnel as you crammed through the Great Books, struggled through your SATs, and wrote and rewrote college essays.

You saw the opportunity for a fresh start. You were never perfect, but who needed to know that? Little by little, you shed parts of yourself that were so precious to your identity: you started going out to meet the right friends, which was silly because you hated the drinks and loud music; you cluttered your schedule with tedious classes in order to transfer to Wharton (because apparently being undecided was a crime); and you became a people pleaser – ‘No’ was no longer in your vocabulary.

On paper, it seems you did everything right. You joined a cultural club, then a business club, then a sorority. Your first ever dance show sold out and you left the stage with more flowers than you could carry. You kept up a 4.0 for the most part, even after transferring. And despite how busy you were, you continued to go to church every Sunday.

But behind closed doors, you were crumbling. During the pandemic you were forced to return to a home that you couldn’t call home anymore – the most important person in your life got sick, and with taking care of them, you lost all license to live for yourself. What’s more, you were in an unhealthy situationship and getting gaslit everyday into thinking you were mediocre and unattractive. You started therapy for the first time, but that couldn’t numb the pain, only subdue it.

You lost the energy and joy you had when you first set foot at Penn. But with the death of innocence also came a clarity of conscience – quieter than the tinkling of the bell; a single droplet into the spring of your heart – that if you just stopped to listen, told you who you were and who you wanted to be. You no longer accompanied your friends to frat parties because frankly, you would much rather curl under the covers and read a Murakami novel. You never pursued a relationship because you never found the right person, and it didn’t matter if others found love earlier than you. You accepted that it’s okay not to have a friend group, and in valuing quality over quantity, cherished all moments with your best friend. Soft, mellow days watching the sunset on Cira Green; frantic, wild days roaming around Puerto Rico during spring break; they were all the same in the imprint they left behind.

Perhaps you came to college to find acceptance – acceptance from clubs, from the prestige associated with certain careers or majors, from a romantic relationship, or from friendships. But what you only really needed to find was acceptance from yourself, and it took some of the most tragic moments of your life to discover that. So I urge you, freshman self, if you could do it again, to stop and smell the roses. Many people are so focused on the destination that they forget to enjoy the journey. You could do it differently: find those free moments in a day you can quietly reflect, admire, and appreciate the beauty within you. Collect the roses you like, discard the thorns, and bring them with you on this arduous journey. By the end of four years, you will have amassed a bouquet of bittersweetness – all the colors, scents, and shapes of the people and places that mattered most to you.

Anonymous

Dear freshman year Maya,

You’ve taken creative writing workshops before, so you know the scene.

A dozen serious heads bow in concentration while scribbling insistently in the margins of a dozen identical printed-out poems. One classmate loves the creativity of this verb — another hates the verb choice, well, doesn’t hate it but thinks it could be cut. No, someone offers, the verb’s great but the comma’s wrong. And after a few hundred (literally...hundred) hours of this, you’re just like, “wait, what are we doing here? Are we just talking? What does this get us closer to? What is this for? Is this real?”

After which you’ll promptly sign up for about a dozen “legit classes” — a hodgepodge of bootcamps to make you non-hyperbolically Proficient in the type of hard skills that get listed in job descriptions. Marketable skills to make real-world money, which means food and shelter and self-reliance, and how much realer can it get? That logic coheres until you’re in the basement of Van Pelt gritting teeth through another hundred lines of code, realizing that a full year of life (as in capital L Life, that thing you only get one of, ever heard of it?) has passed. Meanwhile, you improved at something you found personally unmeaningful, unmemorable, and (excuse my frivolity) uninteresting. No, you waffle again, money’s only as good as the time and the desk it gives you to sit down to read – so that must have been the ‘real thing’ all along.

I’ll skip ahead in my soliloquy: you’re gonna spend four years figuring out what to optimize for.

On the treadmill at Pottruck, you’re like: this is it. Home for the weekend at family game night, you’re like: this is it. In a karaoke room in Manhattan with a band of new friends, you’re like: no, this really must be it.

Well, whatever. It’s all of that. Or none of it. What do I know? I’m 22. Geez!

What I can conclusively and whole-heartedly tell you, after four years of trial and error, is that you should be doing the stuff you know you should do.

Wake up early. Start your draft. Quit that club. Email that woman back. Call your sister. Walk your friends home. Go to office hours. Ask the embarrassing question. Submit your hours in Workday! Work to remember a name. Find the ‘unsubscribe’ link. Learn to cook. For the love of god: start putting your files into labeled folders on your desktop and in your Google Drive. Get a SEPTA card. Turn good people into close friends. Say hi to the strangers that you pass on hikes. Venmo your half without being asked. Say “thank you.” Say how you feel (it never ends up being that bad). Don’t compare. Don’t judge. Don’t tolerate unkindness. Don’t feign indecisiveness if you know what you want.

That’s why these letters are all variations on the same themes: because you already know exactly what you should be doing each day.

(And no, you don’t get credit just for thinking about it).

Do it, don’t wait, and the rest works itself out.

With you-don’t-even-know–yet-how-much love,

Senior year Maya :)

Let’s chat: mayabera@sas.upenn.edu

PS - The 34th street Starbucks bathroom code is 14789 – and be careful who you let cut your bangs!!

Dear Freshman Elijah,

Right now you’re probably shitting yourself. Sitting on the mattress that didn’t even have bedding yet, posing awkwardly for mom’s pictures that you knew would end up inexplicably blurry on Facebook, listening to the sounds of your hallmates moving in and slowly unpacking your things as a way of avoiding having to meet them just yet–college seemed so exciting up until you had to actually do it yourself.

Breathe. It’s gonna be okay. I know that sounds like such a platitude. And maybe this all sounds stupid to you. You never liked having to journal or be outwardly reflective; why bother listening to this at all? It’s not like you to write a letter to yourself.

You’re right–it’s not like you. But that’s one of the things I want to tell you so badly, one of the biggest reasons I chose to write this letter: what’s not like you right now will only not be like you for so long, until you do it enough and you enjoy it enough to realize it actually is like you, and that you’ve changed.

I don’t mean to tell you that who you are now and who I am as I write this are two entirely different people. Thankfully, we have a lot in common (I’m sitting here writing this letter at 1:30 in the morning). But over the course of the next four years, you’re going to have a thousand new experiences, you’re going to meet a thousand new people, and you’re going to experiment with a thousand new personality traits, all at the same time. You’ll absorb things from everything and everyone around you, and they’ll absorb some from you in return. You’ll have identity crisis after identity crisis as all the things going on internally and externally fight for a spot in the finite space you have for them. All combined, you’re going to be and want to be a thousand different people between who you are and who I am now. Let me give you a couple pieces of advice to help you find your way from you to me.

Penn is a tough place to find who you really are. You’re gonna love Penn, and you’re gonna have plenty of fun over these next four years. But during your time at Penn there will be countless moments where you want to be all of those thousand new traits you see in others and none of the ones you see in yourself. You’re gonna see people win prestigious awards, post their internships and jobs on LinkedIn, and be celebrated for being yet another one of the most incredible people you’ve ever come across in your life, and every single time it happens you’re gonna wonder why it isn’t you. That’s okay! It’s natural to feel a little jealous when that happens, but please try not to get so caught up in all the amazing things they’re doing that you can’t recognize the amazing things you’ll come to do too. Be happy for all those who are extraordinary in one way or another, but recognize two truths: others being extraordinary doesn’t preclude you from excelling too, and you don’t have to be award-winning, outstanding, or even fucking good at everything. There’s too much that you are great at for you to get lost in what you’re not.

Be exhaustingly grateful for those around you. You’re going to end up with some of the greatest friends you could possibly imagine. They’ll be there for some of your greatest successes and you’ll be there for theirs. They’ll also see you at your absolute lowest, and you’ll be right there when they need a shoulder too. Be grateful for them. Be grateful that it makes them happy to see you happy. Be grateful they’ll drop whatever to be there when you need it most, no questions asked. Be grateful they’ll provide you with some of the best and most lasting memories you’ll ever have. Be grateful for all the days and nights you’ll spend together, doing absolutely everything and absolutely nothing all at once. Be grateful that they’ll trust you enough to let their guards down and share their innermost thoughts with you, and be grateful that you’ll feel comfortable enough to do the same with them. Be grateful for them when they kidnap you for your most memorable birthday yet, even when they end the night with a charcuterie board full of foods you can’t eat. Be grateful that at 3 am when the world is asleep around you, it’s you and your tiny room they’ll seek out for talks about the most meaningful and meaningless things on their minds. Moreover, be grateful for those who were there along the way, even if they’re not there anymore. Be grateful they helped you grow from who you were then, even if they’re not here to see who you are now. Be grateful. Most importantly, express this gratitude. Tell your friends how much they mean to you, and don’t let them forget it. Say you love them out loud so many times you lose your voice, and then say it again. Be exhaustingly, unwaveringly grateful.

Don’t be afraid to say yes, but also don’t be afraid to say no. Over the next four years you’ll be presented with the opportunity to try and do anything and everything you ever wanted, and everything you didn’t. Don’t be afraid to say yes to new experiences, even ones that make you a little uncomfortable–you won’t get to be the Elijah writing this letter if you don’t push the boundaries of the Elijah reading it. It’s okay to lose a bit of sleep here or there and to sacrifice a night of studying for a night of stories you’ll tell your kids one day. But, at the same time, take care of yourself. There will always be more nights, more opportunities, more memories to be made. Don’t be afraid to say no to some of them. Having fun is only fun if you want it to be; saying no to some opportunities will make the ones you say yes to that much more meaningful.

Allow yourself to change. Don’t force it out of fear, anxiety, or meaningless comparisons to the people around you. Stay true to yourself, but allow the person to whom you’re staying true to evolve over time. Allow yourself to grow out of old habits and to develop new ones. Allow yourself to enjoy new things and to spend your time in new, exciting ways. Allow yourself to sing out loud with your friends and to dance without caring how you look to others, even though you swore for years those were things you hated. Allow your surroundings to change, too. Allow yourself to preserve the relationships that mean the most to you, but also allow yourself to recognize when those relationships reach their conclusions. Don’t burn bridges, but allow yourself to understand that some will fall naturally over time and that it’s not your responsibility to continually rebuild them. Allow yourself to enjoy familiarity, but also allow yourself to venture beyond the places you know. Allow yourself to let go of old aspirations and know that new ones will take their place. Allow yourself to be sad that things change and things pass, but also allow yourself to be happy that there’s plenty yet to come.

I’m not the same Elijah writing this letter that you are reading it. At our core we’re alike, but we differ in important ways. I still have the beard, but now just because I like how it looks, not because I’m trying to present a different persona to the Penn community than I did at home, like you were. I still love a good burger, but now I’m secure enough in my religious identity to eat pork as well without feeling like any less of a Jew. I’m still a New Englander at heart, but now I’ll be moving to New York, something you never would have even considered. And I’m still an introvert deep down, but now most people wouldn’t see me in that same light. Who I am as I write this letter isn’t the final person I’ll be, either–part of my writing this is to continue to challenge myself. And I’d be naive to think I won’t want or try to be a thousand more people in the future too. But while your goal shouldn’t be to become someone you’re not, you should take my advice. Embrace all of the amazing people and opportunities surrounding you, allow them to push you to change for the better, and use that positive change to make an impact on them in return. Enjoy these next four years–I can’t wait to see the person you’ll become.

Proudly,

Elijah J

elijah.haas.joffe@gmail.com

Dear Freshman Allie,

If there is one thing I wish I could tell you it is that you’re gonna make it - I promise. To anyone reading this, it might seem like the following stories are simply cliched rhetoric (honestly, it probably is). However, this is what I wish I could tell my freshman self.

FRESHMAN / SOPHOMORE YEAR

You took a gap year and you think that means you’re definitely prepared for college. You aren’t. Penn face is very real. It takes until your senior spring for your friend to say “hey, I’m worried about you” for you to realize that you’ve been running on fumes for as long as you can remember. It is okay to pause and reflect every now and then. Journaling helps.

Your senior self will think back to being an incoming freshman, having read every single letter on the “Dear Penn Freshmen” website and dreaming of writing your own one day. Confession: you cry after reading all of them, even though you think you know how to control your emotions.

But you’re on your own path and it isn’t a race. You’ll miss recruiting deadlines and countless club applications. Your mom always told you that you were a late bloomer and you didn’t realize how accurate that is until you got here.

You’re excited that your best friend from high school will be there with you, but you don’t realize how much you’ll lean on her. She’s always there when you need her most (despite her dual degree). Tell her you’re grateful for her more often.

I’m going to strongly recommend that you leave your room and go knock on your neighbor’s door - you’ll still be friends with most of them by senior year (and you’ll even meet your best friend through your freshman year hall).

Remember peoples’ names. It is the first identifier and the easiest way to show someone that you value who they are.

Be kind. You never know when someone will re-enter your life and they will always remember how you treated them when you were younger.

Some of the best moments will come when you are at your lowest. You’ll go back to school in the fall of sophomore year and instantly regret it. You’ll feel lost and aimless without the constant support of your parents. Going home for the fall will save you. The pandemic will give you a critical opportunity to reconnect with your family and begin again.

Even on your worst days, you still make your bed, get dressed and workout. Everyone in your life continues to admire you for that. I’m proud of you for that.

I wish someone told me earlier that nearly every extracurricular activity in college is bullshit. Just do the ones that make you happy and you will find what really matters to you.

In the same vein, find what grounds you - having Shabbat meals at Meor, taking workout classes at Orangetheory, and calling your mom on the way to class are just a few.

Seek out multiple adults at this school you can trust. A professor, an advisor, a staff member at Hillel (or multiple)…when in doubt, they will always tell you that they believe in you.

JUNIOR / SENIOR YEAR

The most fun you’re ever going to have in college is playing on an intramural softball team with your sorority and a brother fraternity. Listen to your dad earlier and organize it your junior year.

Always get a booth at Greek Lady. It’s by far the best spot to people watch and gossip with your best friend when you’re both insanely hungover on Sunday mornings.

You’ll befriend multiple guy friends that will always walk you home, no matter how late. Say thank you.

Sometimes you get scared to walk down Locust because you don’t actually want to say hi to people. Do it anyway. You are so lucky to be here. Your dad reminds you of this during Family Weekend of your senior year when he asks to walk out of your way so you can walk down Locust together.

You will love your housing situation senior year (shoutout 232). The girls embrace you for who you are because they truly care about you (even if they call you out every single week on the whiteboard before Shabbat).

You’re also going to become best friends with a girl in your sorority during your senior year. Despite being absolutely horrible on her phone, she will consistently show up for you in ways you can’t even imagine. Hold her close.

You may think you have met everyone, but you will still meet people in your second semester senior year (even boys! cute ones!!) so keep an open mind.

Never be afraid to speak your mind. A boy will come up to you at First Toast your senior year and tell you that you are the most controversial person he knows, but that he respects you for it. Take the compliment. You earned it.

But also be nicer to the underclassmen - they always swipe you into Hillel for a chicken wrap.

Something your parents want you to do is drink less, but honestly, alcoholism is only a thing post grad…(I promise you can actually have fun without drinking as much as you do, though).

It is okay to submit papers on your phone while at Sink or Swim. It will happen…more than you think. It means you said yes to spending time with your friends (and that you will likely wake up to yet another text from your dad telling you that you should’ve started the essay earlier because he’s busy and can’t always help you).

I encourage you to say yes and do it for the plot - even if it means people laugh at you in the process. Senior year you show up to chapter every week with the craziest stories and you aren’t sure if the younger girls are terrified of you or want to be you - embrace it.

You know this, and you definitely won’t delete any of them, but social media is overrated. Whenever you spend the whole night trying to take pictures for Instagram, you have a way worse time. Some of the best nights will only live on in your memories or when your friends remind you what happened.

Not every fun moment happens when you go out. Some of your favorite moments are watching the entire Star Wars series with your best friend in your senior spring semester.

IN SUMMARY

Your middle brother warned you before coming here that “work hard, play hard” is inaccurate. It should actually be “work hard, play harder.” You’re going to really epitomize this during your senior spring semester. Always buy a blue gatorade the night before you go out.

Whenever you’re upset, call your older brother. He’ll always tell you that you’re his favorite sister (even though you’re his only one).

Much to your Jewish mother’s dismay, you didn’t find a nice Jewish boy (trust me, you tried). It’s okay though because you are going to begin to find something way more important: yourself.

Smile. You made it. I’m proud of you.

All my love,

Allie C.

dear freshman julia,

i’m gonna go ahead and spoil this now but quite literally nothing goes to plan.

to give everyone else reading this some context, high school julia had her life planned out. she would go to penn, major in physics, and then go on to become a doctor- something in pediatrics. she knew what clubs she wanted to be in at penn and which courses she would take when she could. she knew what labs she wanted to work in and where she’d intern during the summers.

back to you, freshman julia.

remember that dance troupe you wrote about in your college essay? you didn’t get in. now, as you’ll soon see is the theme of these 4 years- everything (well… most things) end up working out better than you could imagine.

you’ll realize really quickly what things you were doing because it felt familiar or comfortable (for me, that was pre-med & physics) and what things you want to be doing (engineering). you’ll realize what you felt expected to do (all the premed and academic clubs) and what you want to be doing (dancing and dancing and more dancing). you’ll find passions you couldn’t even have dreamed about before penn (robotics apparently???).

you’ll also cry. a lot. some of them are sad about “friends” or boys or disappointments but more of them are from stress of classes, extracurriculars, and your own expectations. but some of them are happy. they’re from laughing too hard with friends on someone’s couch after a night out. they’re from hard work being complete. they’re from the sweetest surprises from friends when you need it most.

in all of that craziness, you met your best friends. you met the people who will be bridesmaids at your wedding, aunts and uncles and godparents to your kids, and the people who- through literally every up and down you could ever go through- will be by your side. even at your lowest lows (and yea, they happen), take a moment to take a deep breath and remember how excited younger you would be to see where you are now.

it’s not gonna be easy, but you’re gonna get through it :)

all my love,

julia who graduates in 20 days

Dear Freshman Daniel,

Welcome to Penn! Who knew 18 years of life and hard work would eventually take you to the city of your dreams….Philadelphia, Pennsylvania! It seems sort of random and you might not like it at first, but you’ll learn to love Philly for all her charm. Though you’ve been on countless key club board retreats away from home and think you have learned how to live independently from mom and dad, it is nowhere near the same as living hundreds of miles away from home for 4 years. These next 4 years will be some of the most socially confusing, academically & professionally challenging, yet fun years of your life. Classes and clinicals will seem long in the moment, but make sure to embrace every second because time sure flies by.

First, let's talk about friends. Saying goodbyes to your home friends will seem scary at first. They’re all you’ve ever known since middle school, but this will be the first time that you’ll go from seeing them every day to only a couple of weeks a year. You’ll cry for days over these growing pains, but this will only strengthen your appreciation for your friendship and limited time together. Thankfully, you’ve chosen to do the pre-freshman program at Penn where you’ll meet your 3 best friends at Penn. It will feel different at first, and you’ll constantly compare them to your home friends, but this comparison will stop and they will become their own beautifully unique standard of friends. The conversations will be slow at first. They don’t always relate to your stereotypical west coast asian boba-runs key clubber raver life back home in Portland, but they’ll introduce you to aspects of the world you never even thought about. And then you’ll slowly realize that even though you’ve all had such different upbringings, you somehow vibe together. Together you’ll do everything together such as travel to cool places like New Orleans and Spain. And because you can’t afford to go home for many holidays, they’ll become your new family that you spend your breaks with. It's okay that you won't get to eat turkey with your family because you and your friends will make a dope ass seafood boil and a whole Kamayan feast the year after–which is honestly better because you hate how dry turkey is anyway. However, missing most major holidays without family will suck and you WILL cry after missing Chinese New Year for 4 years in a row. Thankfully your friends will make things suck just a bit less.

Next, your academics and professional life will also be challenged. You’ll get Cs on all of your anatomy tests and oversleep many of your lectures. Thankfully COVID-19 will save you, but this will be the first time you are academically challenged and you will feel like you’re failing. Just remember that failure is okay, and grades won’t make you any less of a good nurse. You’ll also begin to get cold feet about studying nursing. While all your friends are going into cushy lucrative careers like finance and tech, you feel silly for choosing a career with less pay, high rates of burnout, and requires a lot of butt wiping. Though it seems like a bad idea, you’ll learn that you love working at the bedside and realize that you only regret studying nursing when you compare yourself to your peers with all of their flashy internships. It’s also totally okay that you don’t know what type of nursing you want to do at the moment because I don’t even know now as a graduating senior. And to be quite honest, the closer I get to graduating, it seems like I know even less about what I want to do.

College is not going to go how you expected it to go. It’s not going to be like the California universities and west coast Asian college experiences you heard about and saw growing up. You’re not going to be in Asian Greek Council, going to VSA kickbacks at someone's house for an afterparty, or even playing rage cage as much as you thought, but that’s okay. You’re also not going to be doing the stereotypical Penn activities either such as going to Allegros after a night out, going to date nights/downtowns every other week, or going to sink or swim as much as you thought you would. Because even though your college experience was different, it didn’t make it any less special or fun–it also probably saved a couple of years of your life honestly. I know you regret not being able to go to a more fun school like USC or UW, but trust the process because choosing Penn is one of the best decisions you could have made. Start appreciating everything that Penn and Philadelphia have to offer you, because there’s not enough time to keep hating. Take it easy, and just enjoy the ride.

Love,

Daniel H

I’ll admit, most of my high school days were spent dreaming of college. To me, high school was more of a means to an end, with that end being my four years at Penn. Admittedly, I romanticized a place I had only seen on hour-long campus tours and people I hadn’t even met yet.

###

Once I opened my admissions decision, I thought I was set. I could finally leave my small town in New Jersey and live the life I had spent years glamorizing. Almost immediately, I began cluttering my Pinterest boards with dorm inspo and fervently watching Penn room tours on YouTube.

###

I was looking forward to having a roommate: I could have a built-in best friend who was there to navigate all the firsts with me. The process of finding a roommate, however, was far more difficult than anticipated. How was I supposed to gauge how well I would get along with someone I never met based off of Facebook blurbs?

###

The next few weeks, I superficially judged strangers off of their social media appearances and struggled immensely with reaching out to start conversations with people I deemed “cool.” After many failed what’s-your-major and where-are-you-from small talk exchanges, I finally found someone I clicked with.

###

We agreed to room together and began filling out housing forms and assigning who would buy the mini-fridge and who would buy the microwave. We talked for days on end, eagerly awaiting move-in and all the events that would follow. That day in late August came around pretty quickly, and my parents and I loaded up the U-Haul and made our way to West Philadelphia.

###

I unpacked my things, shared a tearful goodbye with Mom and Dad, and looked around my 10’ by 13’ sardine can of a room in Hill that I had decorated so perfectly, filled to the brim niche decorations and an ungodly amount of throw pillows that were more of an inconvenience than anything else.

###

My roommate, Sam*, arrived a few hours later, and we instantly got along. We started planning all the NSO parties we would go to and gossipping about the freshmen boys we thought were cute.

###

The next couple of weeks went on pretty smoothly. Her friends became my friends, and mine became hers. I always had something to do and someone to do it with, which is what I had always wanted.

The thing they don’t tell you about living with your best friend, though, is that it’s nearly impossible to establish your own individual being when you’re constantly with someone else. College was supposed to be the time in which I found myself, and I quickly realized that I didn’t really know who I was the second she would leave the room.

###

Our codependency issues continued to drive a wedge in our friendship until one day, Sam told me we needed to talk. She said that she had requested a room change and that she would be moving out by the end of the week.

###

Shocked and upset, I found that the only thing I could do was cry. I went through phases of being sad to phases of being angry to confused to hurt and everything in between. I didn’t seem to understand how we had gone from best friends to essentially middle-aged divorcées who couldn’t handle being in the same room as each other for longer than 10 minutes.

###

Every vision I had built up in my head about how my freshman year was going to go crumbled in front of my eyes, and at the root of it all, I felt like a failure. I would see other pairs of roommates out getting coffee or posting their cute matching costumes from Halloween on Instagram, and I would selfishly wonder what was so wrong with me that I couldn’t have that.

###

When Sam finally moved out, it was hard. Our mutual friend group stopped talking to me because it was too hard to stay friends with both of us. The “Who’s your roommate?” questions were incredibly awkward, and I had such a hard time explaining the situation to random strangers that eventually I just settled on saying I never had one, to begin with.

Isolated and alone in a double, I had to start freshman year over again, a couple of months late, after everyone had already made friends and acclimated to Penn.

###

Luckily, I found and made friends with people who I would go on to be very close with, but I made sure that we had enough space between us to breathe. I got a new random roommate a couple of months later. She and I weren’t attached at the hip; she had her friends, I had mine, and at night, we would come together, and that was completely fine. I learned that your roommate doesn’t have to be your best friend, and in fact, it’s probably better that way!

###

I haven’t heard from Sam since the move-out. I don’t think I ever will. She was a huge part of my freshman experience, even if she was only in it for a short while, and I thank her for that.

I thank her for ripping me out of my preconceived delusion that Penn was supposed to be perfect. It’s not. It never will be. College sucks sometimes, and that’s okay. Still, whether you’re thinking of living in a single or if my story is making you question whether or not you should room with that girl you met at Quaker days, do it. There is no right or wrong way to live freshman year; it is only what you choose to make of it.

###

*𝑁𝑎𝑚𝑒𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑑 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑝𝑟𝑖𝑣𝑎𝑐𝑦 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑠*

Dear Freshman Woww,

I remember exactly how you felt before, during, and after opening your acceptance letter. Before, you doubted yourself immensely–you were convinced you’d never get into Penn and were so close to never sending that application in. You cried to your mom every night prior to ED deadlines about the fear of disappointing yourself and the people around you. It’s kind of funny to think about it now, but you were so worried to the point that you sometimes even thought you wouldn’t get in anywhere.

During, you felt the most insane wave of adrenaline and happiness you’ve ever felt up until 18. Your friends surrounded you, congratulating and hugging you. Your parents screamed and cried over the phone. You felt relieved that you didn’t give in to your doubts and applied.

Despite getting the results and the affirmation you needed, it still wasn’t enough. A bit after your acceptance letter, doubt slowly crept in again. What if you’re not good enough to be at Penn? What if it was a mistake? What if you don’t like it there? What if, what if, what if. I’ll let you know that we definitely improved on that, but we’ve still got a long way to go.

I’m writing this to you as I look forward to my last week of classes with a little over two weeks until graduation. Read that again. You’re graduating from Penn! As I reflect on my past four years here, I thought I’d let you know a few lessons I wish I learned sooner:

Stay true to yourself. You love to cook, bake, read, and dance. You love trying new restaurants, going on hikes, and eating cereal for dessert. Here, you will see people who will change how you see yourself. You will hear things that will make you change the way you speak to yourself. You will experience things that will make you question, over and over, what you like and don’t like; who you are and who you want to be. You will feel like you’ve lost yourself sometimes, but you will eventually find a way back to yourself. This identity crisis will hit you hardest in freshman year, but trust me, it gets better. The best things you can do for yourself is to practice your hobbies, stick to what you believe in, and don’t be afraid to say no.. or yes. On the topic of saying yes…

Break out of your comfort zone. While you have clear likes and dislikes, values and morals, there are things that you have no idea about too. You don’t know if you like hummus or not because you’ve never tried it (spoiler–you do). You don’t know if you like pilates, frat basements (no…), anthropology classes, or jungle juice (I know, the heck is that?). You will learn to be spontaneous and say yes to things you never thought you’d be doing, and you will gain the best core memories from doing it. Remember that application essay you wrote about slowly finding and adding new pieces of you? I’m proud of you because you did just that, and you’ll continue doing so. And on the note of being proud…

Let yourself be proud of you. This one will probably take you the longest to learn. You grew up constantly doubting yourself, constantly feeling anxious and overthinking all the what ifs. Thankfully, even though Penn will bring you down sometimes (or most times), there will be moments when you will finally learn how to be proud of yourself. You will learn how to take credit and how to admit when you’ve actually put in hours and hours of work–no more saying things like “Oh no…it wasn’t too bad…” knowing in your heart and body that it really was… pretty bad. You will eventually learn to stop and reflect on how far you’ve come and celebrate the little wins in your life. And you’re pretty lucky, because you will also learn to see how genuinely proud people are of you. Your family, your friends at home, and the friends you’ll meet here will remind you of how great you are–and you will need to learn to believe them. And on the topic of the friends you’ll meet here…

People are nicer than you think. I know, I know. We’re actually really introverted and kind of pessimistic to the core. But I think we’re pretty damn lucky here because we really found our people. The first community to welcome you will be PennThai. There, you’ll meet the upperclassmen who would take care of you in freshman year, and you will slowly learn how to take care of your underclassmen in the following years. Next, you’ll make new friends through Hype. You will rediscover why you love dancing so much, and you will be continuously inspired by the art that your friends create on the team. You will go through hell weeks with them every year and be continuously surprised by how supportive and driven your teammates can be. After that, the last community you’ll be a part of is Sigma. You will contribute so much to the organization and you will learn how girls can lift each other up. You will meet some of the most passionate, determined, and inspiring women and learn how supportive and caring girlfriends can be. Apart from these communities, you’ll also meet friends of friends and classmates. You’ll learn to say hi to them first, and you’ll learn to reach out and get a meal with them. I’m really proud of how much you’ve grown to put yourself out there; however, I also know that you’ll have days when you really don’t feel like meeting or talking to anyone. So finally, on the note of feeling extra introverted sometimes…

Love your own company. It’ll be so, so hard to not feel FOMO. You’ll question yourself and what you’re doing with your life. A lot. You’ll sometimes wait around to make plans and to do the things you’ve been wanting to do. You’ll ask yourself if staying home to watch Netflix instead of going out is lame. It’s not. This lesson you will only discover much later. You’ll learn to take yourself out on solo dates and run errands alone. You’ll learn to not be so self-conscious about sitting somewhere, eating by yourself. You’ll slowly learn to appreciate being with yourself because at the end of the day, you are your own best friend.

You would never believe the experiences you’re about to have these next four years. You would never imagine to smile, laugh, worry, stress, and cry this much. You would never anticipate that you’re about to have some of the best days and the worst days of your life. You would never believe that we turned out like this–just fine.

You still don’t know what you want to do in five years. You still don’t have it all figured out. But after these four years, you will leave Penn having learned these lessons, having met some of the best people in your life, and having grown so much more than you imagined. It goes by fast, so cherish it. Have fun!

Love,

Woww V.

Dear freshman me,

I think when I first came to Penn, I imagined myself living a movie-style college life. I thought I’d be surrounded with an endless supply of friends and always go somewhere in groups of 5+. I thought I’d join a sorority, join lots of clubs, be super active within the Penn community, and thrive. Not to mention, I thought I’d have more friends of my ethnicity. I didn’t think the start to my freshman year would be a body slam of homesickness, which ultimately led to me withdrawing from the most crucial moments of my social life. And when I finally started getting past my social anxiety and reaching out, COVID hit.

I didn’t think I’d spend a year of my college life stuck at home, tuning in on my lectures at 6AM PST, silently crying in my room every night, and feeling miserable. This was not the college life I envisioned for myself.

But through it all, I had 3 friends who helped me keep it together. Granted, we didn’t all get super close until we started living altogether junior year. Newsflash, your three best friends are white. And you’re not. Did not see that coming. I’m less than a month away from graduating, and I quite literally would not change anything about the way my college experience went. *Maybe* it would have been nice if I was slightly more social and spent less of my depressed days drinking my brain cells away. But I think I made the most out of my four years at Penn with what I was given, and I am so eternally grateful for the people I’ve met during my time and the people I get to call my friends.

Our biggest worry when we first came to Penn was “how in the world are we gonna make friends”, since we were the only one from our high school who came to Penn. I think I did a lot of crazy things that don’t really speak to me to try to fit in, and I guess I’m here to say that people will love you for who you are even if you don’t listen to rap or smoke or join Greek life. People will enjoy your company because you’re YOU, and there is absolutely no need to worry. The right people will come along and those will be the people who stick by you through thick and thin.

Dear freshman me, you got this. You’ll fuck up, you’ll cry, you’ll scream, you’ll withdraw and spend many many days alone. You’ll fail a class (actually) and get it removed from your transcript. You’ll experience things no human should experience at the hands of a man. But, you’ll walk out stronger, braver, and more mature. You will ALWAYS find the light at the end of the tunnel, no matter what bullshit is thrown your way. Everything is a learning experience, and only you can shape who you become. Live your life and enjoy everything there is to about Penn. You’ll be alright :)

Quaking with joy for you,

Anonymous.

Dear Erin,

I think I know exactly where you’ll be when reading this. You’re on Grandma and Grandpa B’s porch in Tennessee, stressing over Penn orientation stuff that you’ve been ignoring all summer, reeling from the realization that the pickle ricks guy is in your sexual harassment training videos, and probably fresh off an impassioned rant about how your new school’s logo is asymmetrical. (Guess what! They fixed it! Huzzah!)

I know you’re probably wondering if you’ve made the right decision. If the whole “work hard play hard” vibe is not for you after all. I want you to know that I’m proud of you for taking the leap, and that it will change your life in ways you won’t ever imagine. Four years from now, you’ll still be your same old awkward and stressed-out self, still crying in your bedroom at 1am while Novo Amor plays and you write homages to the person you once were. But I think if the two of us could talk face-to-face, it would be like squinting at a dirty mirror or trying to wash your face without contacts in. (Yes, your eyes will continue to get worse. No, I still don’t know why.) Which is to say, I know you would recognize me but it might take a second. I hope you would be happy with what you see. I think you would.

You’ve promised yourself to take every chance in college, join every club, throw yourself into every situation that you know will make you uncomfortable. Stick to that goal, and you may be surprised by what you discover. Just remember that you’re not reinventing yourself. You’re not losing any piece of you but rather letting the pieces that have been buried for so long see the sunlight at last. Learning how to be unapologetically yourself will be a journey, and it will come with painful moments when all your worst fears come true. Not everyone will like every bit of you. That’s okay. Not everyone needs to. I can’t give you an easy fix for any of the heartbreak that’s ahead of you, but know that your friends will be there for you in your lowest moments, as long as you have the strength to let them in. And when all else fails, there’s always Noah Kahan.

I’m getting the depressing stuff out of the way early because what you really need to know is that college will be just as amazing as you’ve always been promised. You’ll finally learn basic social skills. (I know…who knew?) You’ll make friends in every unexpected corner, and you might even fool some of them into thinking you’re an extrovert. You’ll figure out how to talk to guys, and it’s surprisingly easy, I promise. You’ll learn how to recognize your own emotions and accept them for what they are. You’ll experience your first relationship and your first breakup. You’ll fake-propose and get fake-married several times. Dramatically. In public. You’ll go abroad for a semester and get to discover another new version of yourself, one which even earns the label of “life of the party.” (I meant it when I said you might not recognize me.)

A global pandemic will send you home for a year, and you’ll get more time to spend with your family than you ever expected. It will be difficult to appreciate all of it in the moment, but cherish that time. You don’t know how lucky you are to have it.

You will indeed play hard (sometimes a little too hard), and you will work hard too (ditto). You’ll rediscover your love for YA fantasy and finally start writing that novel you’ve dreamed about all these years—but don’t worry, you’ll give the protagonist a less cringey name. You’ll learn to be slightly less awful at screenwriting. You’ll put up with condescending advisors and suffer through neverending readings on political science and accidentally witness an autopsy in Forensic Neuroscience until you learn to accept that there’s nothing shameful about being *just* an English major. One day, you will finally realize that there’s a difference between practicing humility and belittling yourself, and that the latter only enables others to belittle you as well.

The most important thing I need you to remember is to trust yourself. Speak up for what you believe in, for who you want to be, and don’t give in to the white noise. You may always find yourself looking to others for approval, and imposter syndrome is realer than ever at this school, but you know more than you think, and you can accomplish more than you may believe yourself capable of. It’s okay to keep your hopes and dreams close to your heart, but don’t be afraid to go after what you want with every fiber of your being, until the outcome is truly beyond your control. Do not ever let fear of rejection or pain hold you back from giving your all—in school, in relationships, in art, and in everything in between.

Don’t ever lose compassion; it is the most beautiful part of you. Empathy will invite pain whether you ask for it or not, but it will bring you the most vibrant joy as well.

And just because I’m feeling elderly, here are a few of my best nuggets of wisdom:

Lulu Cafe has the best bubble tea in Philly. Try the matcha sea salt oolong.

I will gatekeep no longer! The Collaborative Classroom on the 1st floor of Van Pelt Library (a.k.a. Erin’s Aquarium) is the best study spot on campus. Go in there on a Saturday when no one has signed up for a timeslot, turn all the projectors on, sync them to the same computer, and play a calming video of jellyfish or the aurora borealis on the walls while you work. Absolute game changer.

Be wary of eating pig intestines.

There is nothing wrong with choosing the path that seems crazy but is simply more interesting to you.

Start going to The Board & Brew earlier. Seriously, you’re going to discover this place way too late. Their honey lavender oat milk latte may or may not be on the menu but they always have it and it’s delicious. (Also, bring extra clothes—it gets cold.)

Live in Gregory College House. It gets dumped on by everyone who doesn’t live there, but it’s the best residential community on campus. (And there’s so. Much. Free. Food.)

Speaking of which, ask someone to add you to the UPenn Free Food Watch chat on GroupMe.

If you hear a group of people playing your favorite board game on the first night of NSO, find an excuse to sneak off to the “bathroom” and insert yourself into their circle. Chances are they’ll become your best friends.

Do things just for fun, any chance you get.

Go! Abroad!

Spend more time at the Kelly Writers House. It’s seriously not as intimidating as it feels, and there is always free food (and sometimes free wine…).

Visit the Lea Library and look at ancient maps or original Shakespeare folios! It’s an English nerd’s haven.

Listen intently when people talk to you, offer solutions when you have them, and go out of your way to make friends and strangers alike feel better when they need support, but don’t let anyone turn you into their therapist. Give as much of yourself as you can without leaving your own emotional wells empty.

Join Bent Button :)

Call your parents more.

Explore Philly as much as possible while you have the chance.

Adopt my senior year motto: It’s. Not. That. Deep.

And lastly, because I’m all out of original things to say, remember Ocean Vuong’s words for himself: “The most beautiful part of your body / is where it’s headed.” You have so many beautiful truths ahead of you.

Love always,

Erin B

ebrenn31@sas.upenn.edu

Dear Penn Freshman,

This is a story for those who may feel lost, battle obstacles, or struggle to find an authentic and solidified identity at times. I was once in your shoes.

With less than two weeks to go of Senior year, I sit back to reflect on so many of the adventures and obstacles we’ve endured as Seniors. Freshman Fall was the time of our lives, and an incredible opportunity to get to know the amazing people around us. Fall was an adjustment for me in countless ways. After a super successful high school track career, I went into college with energy and confidence that this successful career would further flourish. Thankfully, I fostered incredible relationships with my track teammates, making the social transition go smoothly. The Fall consisted of a long and rigorous training season, and I had never trained that early in advance for the Winter and Spring seasons. I struggled with shin splints in high school but prayed that this was just an early-age injury, as some coaches put it. Well after that long and rigorous Fall training regimine, it was safe to say that I was feeling it. By the Winter, I was doing everything I could to stay healthy. But unfortunately, towards the end of the Winter season, I couldn’t hang on. It was at the Ivy League Championships, a place where I had a chance to potentially win if I executed everything as planned, that I crumbled. I hobbled off the track, later to find out that I had suffered a stress fracture in my shin numerous weeks beforehand.

Then Freshman Spring approached, and all of the sudden we found ourselves packing our favorite belongings into bags, and scavenging rides to go home. COVID-19 had struck the world, but as college kids, we knew little to nothing about it. If you were like me, you’re an optimist who thought that COVID-19 would last two weeks and we would be on the next trip back to college. Well us optimists thought wrong. Suddenly I found myself in New Jersey, confused about how I would train for the time when we would eventually compete again. Navigating COVID was tough for a cocktail of reasons. I had never heard of Zoom before COVID, and suddenly it was the new normal and the hot stock to watch. Finding the motivation to consistently train was difficult, especially with my family being together again for the first time in awhile. For reference, I grew up in a household with three older brothers, all of whom live in different places. I was in an estranged headspace. I kept leveraging every resource to fall back in love with my sport, including training with my high school hurdle trainer and high school track coach. But it just wasn’t the same. It felt as though that spark had diminished.

Eventually, I ran into a high school track alumni who had been pursuing Bobsled at the time. I reached out to her and she recommended that I try out for the USA Skeleton Team. I laughed a bit, because my assistant high school coach always mentioned that I’d be a better Skeleton athlete than Track athlete. Nevertheless, I always told him I had to pursue track. With little hope due to the continuous loss of seasons with COVID, I participated in a combine to try out for the USA Skeleton team. Feeling hopeless, and without that spark, I saw my phone light up one day. It was a call from Lake Placid, New York: the home of the Olympic training center. I picked up, agreed to go to the training center in June 2021, and called up the Campus Recruiting Team at Bank of America to request a delayed start date for my internship. Due to the niche opportunity, they said yes, and I eventually ventured to Lake Placid with my parents. The recruits and I learned sled mechanics, met the Olympic team, and eventually competed against each other. After a long battle of a lost spark, I had won the competition, earning a spot on the Rookie Team.

Though Skeleton was an amazing, niche opportunity, it posed many safety risks for my track and professional career. Finally, after a long stretch of canceled Ivy League sports seasons, track was back in the Fall of 2021. There was a new coach, and COVID regulations were still being enforced. We trained for a long stretch of time without competition, and then we finally began to compete. Even with competition starting up, I never felt like myself. My shins hurt, and I was struggling to enjoy any aspect of the sport besides my amazing teammates. Eventually, I found out I had yet another stress fracture. After this, my track journey really started to unravel. I struggled with my mental health, and even things like going to class became hard tasks for me. A sport I once loved so much, which my identity entirely revolved around, became something I dreaded participating in. I couldn’t even come to terms with this reality or communicate it to others because I never thought I’d be at such a point. It didn’t make sense to me. I was never someone who heavily struggled with mental health issues. Finally, during the middle of Winter Track, I decided to step away from the sport.

Eventually, I came up with a new plan: to work with a trainer from home, train in Philly, and compete individually. I believed that the trainer and I could ultimately find a solution to prevent injury. Though after a season of competing on my own, I realized just how much the joys of track were tied to the social aspect. I missed my teammates, and it was quite lonely. As a result, I spent the weekends without competition visiting other schools that my friends attended to get away from the madness that I attached to Penn. Though it was fun, I never faced my own truth. Nevertheless, I was extremely proud of myself for putting together an entire season’s practice and travel itinerary, and being proactive about finding an alternative solution. I gave it another shot through a different route, and it wasn’t what I had hoped for myself. Therefore, after Junior Spring, I decided to officially stop Track.

It was the best decision I’ve made for myself, yet also the hardest decision I’ve made for myself. To keep going or to walk away- that was the difficult decision I had to make. Sure, at the end of the day it was just a sport. But nevertheless, it was who I was. It was the nucleus of my life, encompassing my social life, identity, and schedule. At that time in my life, I thought everything was crashing down. Here I am, healthy, happy, and moving to New York City for a full-time job in July. Looking back, did I think I would be in this boat: dealing with a worldwide pandemic, leaving a sport I once loved, and getting recruited by a potential Olympic team? Definitely not. People always seem to have a five-year plan at Penn, but a lot of the time, things don’t go according to precise plans. The earlier you can accept and embrace this, the easier it will be to adapt to respective changes. One of the best skills you can have is the ability to adapt to change. Despite the massive change, it’s been an amazing opportunity to meet so many new people at Penn who have added such meaning to my life, additional to the ones that have been here for me throughout the journey.

Ultimately, this isn’t intended to be a biography. The moral of the story is: never regret anything in life, despite how badly you may want to do so. At Penn, you will encounter numerous obstacles. Your social life, academics, and pre-professional life are all things you will need to navigate, and it’s not always easy. Take everything as a lesson, an opportunity to get better, and to instill grit in yourself. Never be afraid to be vulnerable, express struggle, or seek help. No matter what your achievements are in life, recognize that everyone will struggle at some point. Prioritize your well-being, choose who you spend time with wisely, and have empathy for others.

Most of all, between the stress of work, ensure that you make the most out of the time with people you appreciate. As I sit here reflecting, I don’t necessarily think about the times I spent basking over a good grade. I reflect on the memories I made with friends and the positivity they added to my time here at Penn. While a degree is important, relationships are also important.

And lastly, if I could go back in time to Freshman year, I would specifically tell myself such: spend your free time reading self-help books to facilitate personal and professional growth, always make time to speak to family, be considerate of other people’s perspectives and lived-experiences, and never be afraid to reach out to someone for career advice.

Sincerely,

Grace O.

Dear Penn Freshman,

Before I came to Penn, I read through all the letters on here, hoping to find some hidden nugget of wisdom that would solve all my problems, current and anticipated. Now I’m a graduating senior and writing one of these letters, and I promise you that nothing you read here is going to fix you. Only you can do that. Sorry. But here’s what I wish I had known when I was in your shoes– take all of it with a grain of salt.

Go listen to Billy Joel’s Vienna. I can’t say it much better than he can. If you got into Penn, that song is made for you: Slow down, you crazy child. You’re so ambitious for a juvenile. But then if you’re so smart, tell me why are you still so afraid?

If you find yourself wishing you were somewhere else, then go somewhere else. It really is that simple. I spent a lot of freshman year going through the motions of club GBMs and social functions, where the most exciting part was when I could leave. If the most fulfilling part of an activity is staring at your phone to pass the time, just go somewhere else. You only get four years here– college is too short to waste on things that don’t excite you. You’ve got so much to do and only so many hours in a day.

Apply to that thing you’re not qualified for. The best thing I ever did at Penn was apply to Perry World House as a freshman, with a half-empty resume and a first semester GPA lower than my self-esteem. Every once in a while, I thank my freshman year self for submitting that application, three minutes before the midnight deadline. While you’re at it, don’t be afraid to ask your professors for recommendations and advice– they are truly passionate about what they do, and they’ll usually be more than happy to help you to the best of their abilities. You can get what you want or you can just get old.

Care deeply, no matter what. I’ve gone through many phases where I’ve been in love with everyone and everything, only to realize that I’ve been reciting poetry at a brick wall. But it’s okay. The thing about brick walls is that things bounce off them– whatever you throw at it will come back to you, in some form or another. At Penn, caring is the best and bravest thing you can do. I spent so long trying to tone myself down, trying to be blasé and detached. I’ve since realized that I’ll never be cool, but I’d rather be warm. On this often cold campus, it’s a much more impressive feat to continue expressing warmth and passion for all the people and things that you love. Within your soul, there is a light that never goes out— continue to nurture it. For the right people, you’ll never be too much. Though you can see when you're wrong, you know, you can't always see when you're right.

But don’t set yourself on fire to keep other people warm. Sometimes you have to let go to make room for better things. It’s tempting to hold on to friendships that have been there for so long, but clutching at the safety blanket just renders it threadbare. Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while.

Practical advice:

Use SEPTA! It makes Philly so much more accessible, and breaks you out from the Penn bubble. It’s not the nicest, but it gets you where you need to go. I’m now a full-blown SEPTA apologist– I’m a proud owner of SEPTA merch (which you can get at 1234 Market Street).

Use r/Philadelphia subreddit to stay updated on what’s going on in Philly– fun things to do, new restaurants, staying safe.

Thai Singha > Pattaya. I say this with the authority of a Thai person.

You don’t have to take 6 classes in a semester. You don’t even have to take 5. A full course load is 4 credits– use that as your anchor, instead of those friends who make an extreme sport of overloading their schedules. Use the extra time to delve deeper, and you’ll get more out of your Penn education.

Kelly Writers House is a great place to hang out/work. Unlike most spaces at Penn, you don’t need a formal reason (e.g. class, club event) to go there– just walk in. To join the KWH community, you just have to show up.

Learn to love Philly. Coming from a much larger city, I wasn’t a fan of it at first, but it’s grown on me. Find a few spots that you regularly return to (mine are Chinatown, Rittenhouse Square, and the Schuylkill Trail), and Philly will start to feel like home. Before you know it, you’ll miss it dearly– I know I will.

Slow down, you’re doing fine. You can’t be everything you want to be before your time. And then you’ll realize: Penn waits for you.

Love,

Jing Jing P.

Dear Penn Freshmen,

When I got to Penn, I thought I had everything mapped out. My course of study, the clubs I wanted to join, my career path of interest. But I quickly learned that wasn’t the case. I have a feeling things will go similarly for many of you.

My specific advice below can basically be summed up in two words: be open. Listen to what brings you passion, and ask questions rather than dismissing things as impossible or unrealistic. Specific advice is as follows:

Try different courses. Take the classes you find interesting!

You do not have to take calculus if it’s not required for your major. Freshman me cried many times for no good reason because she decided to take Math 104 to “be challenged.” Senseless. Your coursework will be rigorous enough without it, I promise. Also, PennCourseReview (or its future equivalent) is your friend.

While we’re talking crying, you might cry on the phone to a close friend or family member that you’re worried you’ll never make any friends during that first semester of college. That’s not true. You will. Those groups of twenty “best friends” that seem to magically form within days of NSO are also full of people just like you, who are afraid of the same things. You’ll find your people, I promise. (No offense to anyone who found their people during NSO: I met some of my good friends then, too...My point is that you have time!)

Notice what makes you lose track of time, whether that’s a club, class, or hobby. For me, I felt this way when I was working on the Pennsylvania Punch Bowl satire magazine, but I initially dismissed that my passion for it could apply to any career. It wasn’t until I took Grit Lab that I zoomed out and realized that the enjoyment I felt with my Punch Bowl work was telling me something.

While I’m on the subject, take Dr. Angela Duckworth’s Grit Lab course if you can. It changed my life!

Actually go to the career center. They can help you for any field or location. Different advisors specialize in different areas, so it may take more than one meeting to find the folks who are a good fit.

Penn alumni generally enjoy hearing from students, even if it feels scary to reach out for a curiosity conversation. If there’s a field or topic you’re interested in, chances are, an alum is too. ;)

Good luck!

Isabella S.

schlact@sas.upenn.edu for now :)

(If this email expires, or if you’re a pre-professional nerdddd, I’m also on LinkedIn, haha.)

Dear Freshman-year Tejaswi,

I know it’s curious that the quad entrance (Fall 2019) has a poster on which Michael Phelps says that he’s depressed, or he used to be depressed earlier, or something depressing along those lines. When I moved in, I remember thinking, why do they think we needed to know that? Is it a warning? Is it going to be stressful? Is it going to be hard to protect your mental health at Penn? Is it hard to create a support system here? I have asked all these questions over the past 4 years and the answer is a FUCK YES IT’S INSANELY HARD.

This school is going to really really really test your mental health. The environment and culture of Penn from my experience can be difficult to handle for people our age. The emphasis on applicability and the practicality of everything is well intended and will lead to a better life for us. In many ways, the culture can be very motivating and enable us to see beyond our potential. And sure, I made a lot of friends here — after all I’m so interesting, confident, and a great listener — and I do love most of my friends. But at an age when I was experiencing so many new feelings and interacting with so many new ideas, I think I got zero time to process anything because I just wanted to work hard even if I didn’t believe in the work I was doing. I wanted to work hard because everyone else wanted to work hard. Now you might say, “well you should have ignored others, known your own limits, and should have worked according to your limits.” Dude, everyone around you is going to be telling you how much they’ve been stretching their limits, and it’s SO contrarian to stay within your own limits that you will always feel like you can do more. You might say, “well you should have only worked on things you believed in then.” Well, you’re just 19, you don’t know what you believe in! You’re bound to make wrong choices in terms of what work you’re going to do. There’s no way I could have made all the correct choices, but what would have helped to get past the mistakes would be an environment where limitless, metric-based improvement is not the only way of measuring life.

First piece of wisdom: More is not better. Do as little as possible. You have a great mind; it just needs time to find its voice.

Second, your life and the work you will do is much richer than you think it is. Your life is much larger than a class or a weekend or your summers.

Third piece of wisdom, look inward. Ask yourself once every week, ‘how much of that conventional wisdom is all convention, and no wisdom?’

Fourth: Everything Everywhere All At Once. Watch the film at least twice because it’s gonna play in Philly theaters for 9 months before it even gets nominated for an Oscar, let alone win Best Picture. The 9-month theater run is a big deal because a global pandemic is going to disrupt film distribution and expedite the rise of streaming services right before this movie comes out. It’s insane that this movie survives for so long in theaters.

Fifth: no need to brand yourself as Teju, people are fully willing to learn your name exactly as it is: Tejaswi, which means brightness.

Sixth: whoever’s in front of you is the only person that matters right now. Don’t worry about all the other lame people who look like they’re having much more fun than they are.

Final wisdom: listen well and ask all your questions. Maybe not all of them.

Yours truly,

Teju/Tejaswi B

Dear Freshman Self,

Right now, you’re looking through your camera roll, comparing your grad photos to the photos of you moving into the quad. If you’re wondering, your hair gets a lot blonder, and you look less “baby”. But you didn’t feel so baby moving into the quad, you were so excited to start your college girl life at Penn. After your gap year, you felt prepared for anything college could throw at you. You even had a nice roommate (happy spoiler alert she is still a close friend)! Looking back now, I can’t say you were ready for everything Penn would have in store for you (or you know a global pandemic) and there were some lows but ultimately coming here was the best choice you could have made. I’m so happy to tell you:

Don’t listen to the haters…NSO friends CAN last. Almost all your best friends are people from your freshman hall you met going to darties. So do that!! Put yourself out there, say hi to the people around you, ask them what they’re doing tonight. Even if you feel like you’re inviting yourself, remember no one actually has friends yet so you’re not intruding. That being said, being consistently kind and open to friendship throughout your time here never hurts. One of the reasons you wanted to go to Penn in the first place was the people, so reach out and get to know the people around you.

You study abroad!! In Ireland!!! I’m sorry to tell you that you don’t speak Japanese fluently and you didn’t go to Tokyo. You didn’t go to Spain either but this one is on Penn Abroad not you (don’t believe them when they say you can go anywhereee). But you make the best of it and end up loving it. There’s something amazing about getting to know a beautiful city off the beaten path full of friendly people. Everyone has their own approach to study abroad but don’t be afraid of getting to know other Penn people there. It’s really fun to come back with new best friends. Plus going somewhere completely new where you know no one makes you appreciate Penn and your friends here a little more <3.

You wrote an 85-page thesis about post-colonialism!! I say this all the time, but Penn is incredibly underrated as a liberal arts school. Yes, Wharton is an amazing school and taking a few classes there is fun but don’t let people discourage you from taking humanities and social sciences classes. You’re going to graduate with a major in Philosophy, Politics and Economics with a concentration in Decolonization and work with one of your favourite professors on your thesis. People change their minds about what they study at Penn all the time, just explore and see what fits your interests and skill set the best.

You’re moving to New York to live with two of your best friends and you have a really cool job!! Sadly, you’re not an investment banker…but that’s honestly for the best. You are working in data privacy regulations at a bank though and you ended up getting the job because you randomly took a class on Internet Law the semester before (so again just take classes in what interests you). As for after that…maybe law school…maybe moving to London…maybe applying for a Fulbright. Life is long and doesn’t end when college ends.

You regularly go to therapy!! Honestly if there was one thing, I wish I’d done differently is that I should have started my first semester of college. I think therapy and self-care aren’t things that are normalized enough at Penn which is sad. Yes, CAPs can suck but Penn is a stressful place and talking about your feelings and experiences with a professional is beneficial and will help you get to a much happier and healthier place.

There are other things I could tell you, but I think these are the big ones. Just know that it goes so fast so be appreciative and try to make the most of your time here while taking care of yourself. I’m so excited for you.

Much love,

Sophie

P.S. One last tip: don’t be afraid to ask for help if you’re struggling in your classes. Penn has tutoring centers for a reason. And go!! to!! office hours!! It shows your professors and TAs that you care, and you learn a lot.

P.P.S. talking to Penn alumni is so helpful for getting a sense of what you’re interested in a career and if you feel awkward about “networking”, just remember that one day someone might be reaching out to you.